“My Modern Valentine’s Day”

O’ sweet love, what have you done to me, I’m blinded by what makes you such a unique lady, blind but still want to schedule a time to scratches her back in the shower, and to say babe ‘you looked scrumptiously pretty this morning. But now I keep my hands away and lips sealed because I no longer have you, causing my once determined confidence to rapidly go cascading down like waterfalls to a point of no return unless you said to. And so I have lost the bet, lost my way, confused and long take up to practiced a departure from romantic values since love does not seem or feels real to me, I could be wrong. Thus I do not believe or have anytime to spare for traditional courtship if I cannot have the one to proudly wear this crown of love and accept this bouquet now that Valentines is dead, causing people to be staring at me without pity as if my heart is broken, broken to be exposed to the one who interested not and continued. But can I whisper in your ears that I’ve secretly loved you all my Christian or none Christian life, it has just taken me this long to find you, but we’ll not reaffirm what ought to be my fidelity devotion within a genuine affection because once again you came in a rush and so quickly passes me by without courtesy like a saddened St Valentine’s Day love. Giving me no reason or chance to choose a new mate for this celebrated enchanted romantic love event, no chance to celebrate with love charm in sending her by way of special delivery a two dozen exquisite red roses that will last longer than most which symbolizes true love. Or a dozen pretty like her White roses which would further express this glorious romantic sentiments of wistfulness and her purity. Or a dozen red tulips to fully express my undying love and passion, or to propose with a month of romance with her, as if I’m one out of the millennial generation’s. But Darling, let me whisper in your ears to make you laugh, or to trigger something in you that endears me to you in a unique way, or to make sure that you heard me and only you alone that if you were mine and remain mine like she said that she would, then I would certainly bring you better things than any other man, maybe even a Bible since she likes to meditate with Christ to find peace from all the haters and I wouldn’t mind at all. I would make you laugh more maybe by telling you funny embarrassing stores about myself of when I were a young boy chasing a girl who likes to sneak up behind me and slapped me so hard then took off running like she is a track and field star, killing herself with laughter at the same time. Or hilarious stories about one of my favorite pets. For sure if you were mine like you said maybe I would bought nice things for her and brought you your favorite things like dark chocolates, jewelry with a cross that are as cool as the one you now have but this one is from me, made uniquely just for you then gorgeous, bouquet flowers like this, beautiful negligees in her favorite color that will not hide your waistline but softly defines her bust line, and of course luxurious lingerie that play up her unique sculpted body. Or a cute pair of chemises for when you’re in the mood that I brought back from Paris before the COVID-19 pandemic breakout, respectfully of course.

And for sure, a Christian lady to be my wife hopefully one day for, Valentine wearing sexy lingerie for her husband is certainly within the realm of liberty for my twenty-first century love style. O’ sweet Valentine love you passed me by without a significant other, a sweetheart but love is in the air as if you do not exist for me, executed in my sleep while dreaming of her, and yet I realize that a ‘Purity of her heart could only means loving what is real’ knowing to loved her I can see her soul that shine through allowing me to say don’t be scared. But Yes, I’m laughing and crying all at the same for a modern day Valentine’s love from her gorgeous lips, a lips that I’ll not lived long enough to kiss or have to shower her with exquisite gifts. A bed a pillow that our heads shared together that conveys her happiness. A ring never will I placed on her finger so. Can I have you instead? If not, what am I living for, what good does meaningless St Valentine’s Day means to me. The truly great and gracious Oprah Winfrey said: “If you look at what you have in life, you’ll always have more. If you look at what you don’t have in life, you’ll never have enough.” An excellent point and one that is worth remembering. Expediency and me in making wise judgments even at a rather difficult moment in my life, since the love that I so seek and want to give has the highest priority in identifying my courage and clumsy mistakes, especially about what I believe in and where I want to go and who I want to love. Since it is obvious that I put others first while ignoring the priority of my own needs. O’ Valentine’s love why have you forsaken me and placed an X on my forehead that no woman shall ever have, am I not a man so born like Christ of a woman’s with tender bosoms breasts that deserves her compassion, am I not a man of eloquent suitability within such ethical qualities that listens attentively in a pool of accomplished candidates that require expedient consideration? And yet I cherish her and put her first definitely. Am I not the captain of my own ship that can accommodate both her family and friends if necessary to please her.

Or would I be considered a fool for wanting and needing her love and blessings, the biggest fool that the world has ever known to do so? I told her my story causing her to read every line, every words in its entirety to see if it is about her. I told her about ‘love and honor’, the scars that I have for such was not motivated by any fear of divine wrath. Can’t you see, can’t you believe, are you not wise enough to hear my cry, can’t you understand that I’m lonely for her and refuse to seek out any other. But she said nothing except ‘maybe’ So how long is maybe, is it maybe I should forget her and the ‘love talk’ the pillow or the intimate conversations that we shared about sex, or not to include sex, religion and our future planning included our freedom, commitments and Valentine’s love. The things that we connect with, the hopes, the dreams, the fears, and what hurts us the most. Is it maybe I should go and form a courtship with that other one whom I do not love and who quite evidently and definitely do not love me since she is already got a man? “But time will tell,” so said her the cutest one. I shouldn’t have to tell her like all the other crazies that she is beautiful with a hundred romantic roses on Saint Valentine’s Day specially grown and nurtured by my friends in the Tibetan Plateau, Himalayas just for her. After all, (no bull***t) since I’m romantically crazy about her a rose by any other name would smell as sweet, but some are sweeter than other, because she already knows that she is beautiful, but I’ll tell her anyway that darling beau you are beautiful and darned sexy just the way that you are, and the mirror doesn’t lied about that but a man will. Yes we do with the exception of yours truly, since I’m wise to the fact that a beautiful woman doesn’t give a sh** about a man saying that she’s beautiful just to remove her thong panties, when all that she need to hear is that the man or her partner understands the inherent dangers in being a woman and that he is committed in playing his part in respecting and protecting her. The awesome Lady Gaga said: “Some women choose to follow men, and some choose to follow their dreams. If you’re wondering which way to go, remember that your career will never wake up and tell you that it doesn’t love you anymore.” The apostle Paul warns of apocalyptic events, he also wrote by inspiration of the Holy Spirit: “All things are lawful unto me, but all things are not expedient: all things are lawful for me, but I will not be brought under the power of any”.

The graceful Hillary Clinton said: “Take criticism seriously, but not personally. If there is truth or merit in the criticism, try to learn from it. Otherwise, let it roll right off you.” This story is primarily about a young man’s Valentine’s love or lock of it as you may already noticed, but also most advantageous. It is also a story of a story that we are all authors in our lifetime of our lives to an inevitable story since no one can really determine your story, some are best sellers, some fell by the way sides, sitting on a bookshelf somewhere gathering dust or worse in your head waiting for that motivational spark, telling yourself that it takes motivation just like loving someone to do the work or to say what you want to say day in and day out, even when you aren’t seeing results. Waiting for that inspiration, (my grandma always saying to me “boy how on earth do you expect to find yourself your dream girl when you won’t go out and find her, she is out there waiting on you, go and fetch her”) saying ‘ugh’ “I cannot write about such curiosity, burning desire, such success or amazing love. Telling yourself that you cannot write about your experience in or about social circle, your epic love affair that leads to such state of indecision, such mystery, such fascination with romantic sexuality, are all disturbing or disgusting subjects that are in your head or journal.” But you can, you can get it all out of your head onto paper or tech devices and tell us, tell the world what motivates you to get married for instance or to fall in love with, and if the Holy Spirit had anything to do with such decisions to be feeling so passionate about a project or goal, and why you feel that you can take on the world.

You can if you’d not compromise yourself which is not to accept standards that are far lower than is desirable, especially when taking into consideration that you’re all that you’ve got and when considered that ‘One man’s trash is another man’s treasure’ not that I would equate that about a woman or a man. But the scenario could easily apply that some men or women wouldn’t be seen dead with he or she where as another man or woman would happily say yes a thousand times yes I’ll have him or her etc etc. Be strong with inner courage to the depths of your feelings and emotions, and remember that being strong doesn’t necessarily mean that you’ve to build huge body muscles, since true strength do resides in the soul of everyone who faces adversity whether from financial situations, social, color of your skin, sexuality, religion, mental, criticism, rejection, and the inevitable behind the back laughter but you’ll have the last laugh, and the strength to let it roll off you. Always aim to define success on your own terms, find that inner courage since it will define yourself, your power and strength within your willingness to embark on that journey, whether it is for spiritual or new love courtship, or career, go and achieve it all by your own rules because someone somewhere will be saying nope. You’re simply not good enough, you don’t have what it takes, you’re not attractive or sexy enough. But you know deep down that what you put forward is good so build a life that you’re proud of and to hell with the impossible ones. Build a life that is fun peaceful and a enjoyable one, while loving who you want to that you can lived by.

WOW! Amor a calling to all Cupid’s “Tell me where is Fancy bred, Or in the heart or in the head? How begot, how nourished? Reply, reply. It is engender’d in the eyes, With gazing fed; and Fancy dies In the cradle where it lies, Let us ring Fancy’s knell: I’ll begin it, –Ding, dong, bell. All Ding dong bell,” Shakespeare. Amor, a calling to all Cupid’s includes lesbians since some of us will be taking a trip down memory lane. This will be a perfectly sweet romantic Valentines story for some people but not for my soldier friend (Frank Howard) who was shot dead in Chicago after returning home from his Afghanistan tour of military duty a couple Valentine’s moons ago. It will not be a perfect Valentine’s Day for his young attractive model widow wife Florice Howard, but as her friend I will not let Valentine’s Day go by without entertaining her in the most effective way with no-strings-attached meaning that I’ll and definitely able to do things for her non-romantically or otherwise without asking for anything in return unless she insist otherwise to make her feel special. To lift her mood and to dampen her anxiety should she be feeling down or stressed out. As for myself that some describes as a magnificently handsome specimen (naturally boasting why not) of a young man with big brown eyes, lips, nose, and olive skin Or of which I would differ with as an half truth myths, nevertheless I got your attention that as I grow older I retain a little of my handsomeness together with a new bow and arrow as a romantic symbol of my true love nature. Aha!

My roguish handsome lifestyle got me sometimes feeling like a drunken sailor on a battlefield longing to spend Valentine’s Day with her, the girl whose love are eluding me. Causing me to be thinking that maybe she finds me undesirable, or is it I in a cunning way avoiding being capture, fleeing from her whose name I cannot remember except prima donna. However, it is some five Valentine’s Day moon’s that has come and gone that finds me without a love devotion that contains only her, it is a long time. And it also do feels like a forever since I held her into my loving tender arms to tell her that every morning, I finds myself falling in love afresh over and over again with her. It’s a long time since I gave her or someone else enchanted love bouquet that are as delightful and meaningful, or a stunning diamond bracelet that is a girl’s best friend as a sparkling everyday wardrobe staple that every well-dressed lady of mine should sport. Or to make and bring her a delicious Scandinavian breakfast in bed on this 2020 Valentine’s Day in classic style without her increasing her weight. No, I will not be wishing on a distant star and neither will she (at least not for me) to make her wish a reality, even so on kneeling knees I will still purchase this gorgeous diamond ring that cost a small fortune for her. If not her then someone (but preferable her and only her) else who will not give false hope. It’s a long time like a virgin since I wrote to her a romantic Cupid love letter that I would hid under pillow, not devices text message, or to someone else an old fashioned romantic love letter expressing my true feelings for her (not text) to be delicately delivered by hand or carrier pigeons.

This Valentine’s Day will be no exception and so I’ll write this in case she or someone’s else who is eligible with an understanding heart that is alive and pumping blood around your body for a love beat that leaps when you see and feel that love will say hmm, poor boy. After all, the understanding of love is the basis for true lasting friendship–human and divine, since we must realize that God’s desire is to have a warm, loving, and affectionate relationship with us. So here’s a lot of maybes. A succinct yearning that there will be no more Valentine’s Day love after this one for me, but everyone has some kind of story to tell, maybe it is about yourself or someone who would and have experienced a deep abiding void, were you to cease to exist, and since we’re dealing with an heart that is full of romantic jester, or some deep passionate feelings for someone (even though it is said many times over to ‘never invest deep feelings for someone that you’re not quite sure of unless you’re ready to face the inevitable consequences of which I’m hard headed to such’) which often times can be quite misleading and therefore it does takes keen observations to realize the real unmistakably existence of this Cupid’s feelings. O’ man, I wished that I had her to say this to me on yesteryear Valentine’s Day. “The Scars Of Your Love Remind Me Of Us When We Were Young Like Yesterday They Keep Me Thinking That We Almost Had It All The Scars Of Your Love They Leave Me Breathless I Can’t Help The Feeling” Adele. No, there will be no Valentine’s Day romancing for me, but I heard her voice saying ‘your memory feels like a sweet special place to me, so when my mind wanders, it always finds it’s way onto you.’ In my mind a vision of her sitting by herself with the palm of her hand under her chins, she is sitting at her desk with pen or pencil and paper and laptop. She paused in silent mode to elevate her mind and reflect on maybe future potentials or the things or the ones that matter most to her.

She is looking out her window, gazing intently at the tree lines or the landscape, the only sound is the echoing songs of the birds and the bustling sounds of motor vehicles traveling to wherever they’re going in a rush on the nearby Expressway. Her mind drifted on the past of a few years ago on the love trials and tribulations in her life, including her fight to recover from breast cancer symptoms.

And here I’m also sitting alone needing her so badly to comfort ourselves on a chilly Saint Valentine’s Day in Maine, thinking about her in every which way. Wanting to tell her 24/7 that ‘if the thought of you is considered a disease I never want to get over because it will be the medicine to either kill me or your love to cure me because the image of her will not leave my memory. I wanted to whisper in her ear or to tell her in private that there’s an exotic touch of fresh air about her in my heart, or in every room that she feels romantically to relaxed in, but now another Valentine’s Day comes and I will not be able to do so. I wanted to shower her with gifts that are out-of-the-ordinary since I’ll go the extra mile that only I can find and to make her feel comfortable and special all day and beyond for meaningful presents and penetration. To hold her close and closer in my loving arms to express to her that despite my sometimes hasty decisions, I genuinely appreciates and love her more than merely words of distant era Valentines can ever expressed. I wanted to get her some simple but exquisite gifts. I wanted to whispered in her ear, that darling should we ever take this wedding vows, I would like to preserve her in a beautiful natural form of romantic art as a constant reminder of the vow I so give to never hurt you. To never make you cry unnecessarily over this what I hope will be a lasting love wedding together, with long lasting hanging bouquet of special flowers like these. I wanted to get her a special 10-in-1 “ultimate” instant Pot so she’ll be able to spend more time with me instead of over the kitchen stove or the ovens chamber to bake my favorite cakes or roasting such delicious yummy and memorable beef that I so enjoyed since her lovely mother taught her well. Where she can just put everything on slow-cook while we snuggled up and let the pressure cooker do what it do. I’m in a romantic mode and strive to let her feel the same which is in the night air with her, and I wanted to get her a delicate sold gold band studded with five diamonds that represents our birthday’s, color or style of clothing she worn, the time and place and date and year or month of our meeting that marked the beginning of our courtships, and also religious significance or signs that will not stress us.

I wonder if she’s secretly thinking about me too, I wonder if she feels anything thing for me and whether she is asking her faith or friends opinion about me. And will they say to her, ‘man like that will charmed your panties off because he wants only one thing that aren’t related to commitment, a one night stand’ so find out more about him. His family roots or history, has he grown up with a sense of self integrity, family values and pride and respect, what is his relationship with his mother, you’ll know pretty quickly about him if you take notes of his available time that he has for you. How much quality time will he spend with you, can you communicate without argument, has he ever abused women or children, does his passions aligned with yours and can he or is he willing and able to put you first with a roof over your head and his overall mannerisms which’s of the utmost importance in a relationship. His character traits or personality attributes, does he have a spiritually beliefs in divine devotion, does he have patience and self-control and does he have complete loyalty within a strong moral principles, does he have any tendency of being a womanizer, his past relationships, have he served time in prison, is he an introvert or an extrovert. If he’s serious about you will his mother approves of you, how old his he, does he have a sense of humor, does his philosophical education became his dedication and where is he from, does he believe in God that so hovering over the waters of the primordial Earth that through His Holy Spirit all things were created, the universe (matter, energy, space, love and time) along with other principalities of being including Life, Heaven, and Earth. Is he married or divorced, does he have children, is he stable? Is he a Christian and what is his beliefs, and is he financially secure in the ways of having enough money to live on and not having to worry about money to support you in times of need.

Yes, there is a lot a woman (especially a first-timer) with any relationship experience sense would want to know about a man if she is serious about falling in love to start a relationship, and of course there are some pretty inquisitive friends, some are just cunningly with jealousy who will swoop in and can breakup a courtship in the middle or even before it gets started. When we already know that there is a lot to be known about each other, but love will eventually reveal it all hopefully sooner than later. I will crown her as my soul Queen and put this gorgeous one-of-kind diamond ring on her finger to cement my true love, should I ever get to understand her taste in jewelry from the kind that she now wears, and of course finding a secret way of determining her ring size and the finger vein that is running directly to her heart.

I wanted to say, darling I understand your anguish grief of the past and I will not attempt any rudest touching upon the tenderest spot. But I’m here for you and I need your eternal companionship so that I can feel like a man once again since I’ve been saving my whole for her, and so we both can find ways to overcome any level of love pain. Especially when remembering that the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone.” I wanted to whisper in her ear that I keep looking at my collection of beautiful orchid ‘Wild’ that are divinely pretty like her. A plant that has soft like her gorgeous pink flowers with dark like her eyes center. No, there will be never again any worthwhile Valentine’s Day celebrations for me without her, even if I should be fortunate enough to find someone else with the ideal similarity, faith beliefs, sex & intimacy, punctuality, understanding values, money & spending, neat and orderly without too much trivial fussing that overblown but mindful of the simple finery’ that no one could take her place I thought I heard her say. There could never be anyone else that I could have a random conversation with like her about Love, Romance, faith and God, the future, honesty, health and fitness, race and culture, her beautiful poems. Yes, no one else to talk to with a degree of attention, respect, humility, and understanding about her natural elegance without the lavishness, her grace in style that aren’t overpowering but are rare and also desirable. O’ sweet Valentines will her lips ever be touching my lips before my days on Earth ends, to be considered a stroke of luck, will my prayers to He the Mightiest Spirit of love whose compassion never fail and Merciful with spiritual gifts so receive above all other spirits be answered? “Let us more and more insist on raising funds of love, of kindness, of understanding, of peace. Money will come if we seek first the Kingdom of God – the rest will be given”, the late Mother Teresa.

‘O yeah, she is an enchantress in disguise, my gratitude are plentiful that she would even so much to take a glance at me or even so far as to fall in love with me out of so many technocratic contenders for her love, (likened to Aphrodite enlisted Eros (Cupid) to exact her revenge but the god of love instead falls in love with the girl) and I could immerse my whole (for her fair youthful spiritual love before sexual love in her dark rosy complexion) in Her beauty but it is much more than that to my eyes because it is beyond a facial mole, it is beyond her physique or physical outer body or sexual outfit appeal, it is the reflection emitted in her soul essence which so radiate from her inner beauty, and her kindness are unique and I would certainly equate to that as rare, if you ever spend a moment admiring a rose, the unexpected freshly overnight blooming of a rose from a stem of thorns or even the sun bursting out of the darkness as it rises. Her kindness is like that to be truly admired, no one else comes close to remind me that, “you don’t love someone for their looks, ‘What are gold and jewels and precious utensils? Mere dross and dirt. The human face and the human heart, reciprocation of kindness and love, and all the nameless sympathies of our nature – these are the only objects worth being attached to’, a man who is kind to his lady or to anything else benefits himself, but a cruel man or woman hurts himself, you don’t love someone for their clothes, or for their fancy car, or their religious beliefs. As a matter of fact we all can agree that Jesus Christ was murdered (crucified) because He was kind and spoke of truthfulness to people who hated Him, which prompts Him to said: “Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do.” He ask for this forgiveness for others while they (We) is crucifying Him on the cross, His plea to shows real love and kindness that many of us thrive in adapting, while many more turned their noses up at such.

You don’t love someone for or even for their big fancy house, or even the way that he or she performed sex with you. What you love her for is the way she sing a song to you that only you can hear it.” And so there is no denying that also every man, young or old, every woman young hot or old and not so hot have a story of love a relationship or otherwise to tell.

Maybe it is about how you found the perfect or near to perfect Love in or at the most unexpected places, or at least when unexpectedly. Maybe it is about your devotional religious faith and what it has done for you, or the path that you hope it will leads you to in the spirit of Christ, and for sure we’d need the Divine Spirits to see the human race through this a global pandemic, or what you’ve done for it since nothing is for free. Maybe your story is or could be about who helps you along the way of fulfilling your life journey dream, or who your hero helped. For just a few seconds think of all the people who were so nice to you or that you would like to call your hero, a stranger never to be seen again, all the heroic people who put their own lives at risk. Think about all the cool or not so cool events or stuff that you wrote about in your journal or diaries, it is your story that needs to get published out there that will be an inspiration to someone else. Think about or write about the success that you could have had hadn’t you allowed a golden opportunity to slipped through your fingers which can also apply to a love relationship. Think about without feeling of guilt the person that you could have helped but didn’t. Yes, it is your story, it is your song so sing it with feeling, while also remembering or take time to reflect on what His coming meant for all eternity. Maybe your storytelling could be about a charitable Samaritan who are compassionate, unselfish whose interpret Jesus parable of the greatest Commandment to love and be kind in action to others. Maybe your story is about how you self-taught to having acquired knowledge or a certain skills on your own initiative. Maybe it is a story about a romantic love relationship that gone sour, or how you overcome shyness in seducing her by taking her away from all the stressfulness she faces daily and into another world.

A special world only for the two of you, as a matter of fact I once had an O’ so fine girlfriend who didn’t want to share me with anyone one else even to the point of removing and ripping up all the celebrity girlfriend photographs that I hung on my bedroom wall, (why you do that, I asked her, “It’s either them or me,” she said with a big old grin on her face) she had even reckon that our kid were getting more attention from me than I was giving to her. Which wasn’t quite true to the point where she invited me into her poetic alluring and allusion world to get a glimpse of her heaven so beautifying that were all about me. O’ Saint Valentine’s, I’m eager to see her in her divine creative quality and that would makes me feel loved and secure. Are there no more Cupid’s arrows to her heart for me to such a romantic poem ending without a soulmate, and ring never worn that never fits her finger is hard to put down, for a love match that were made in heaven? Maybe you could tell a story about how you recover from or to understand the differences in how anxiety manifests itself both in younger as well as older folks. Maybe your story could be a handbook for lovers that contains an essay on what makes words beautiful so that the reader may go beyond the realm of curiosity. Maybe your story would or could be about your romantic world, magical fantasy or real, after all for centuries our human development derives the process of learning and desire to acquire knowledge and skill which lead to the curiosity of our very being. You want to know more about the person that you fall in love with, you want to be inspired and in turn helped to inspire others who may have doubts of his or her ability to start and complete something whether falling in love, etc. You want to shine, you want to be happy, while still be able to accept or tolerate delays without becoming annoyed or anxious.

Maybe your story could be about a nurse who is a single mother of two gorgeous kids, she struggled daily to make ends meet even while working two or more jobs, she is so tired and need some sleep but she carried on caring so much about the sick peoples lives or the children, that puts her own life at risk and eventually died after contracting a disease from her patients. Maybe your story could be one explaining the vital ingredient for becoming a journalist, writer, inventor or scientist excelling in finding a cure for a global pandemic. O’ sweet Valentines, I’ve tossed and I’ve turned trying to figure out, trying to reach and connected to her hearts desire or an understanding to this worthiness so seek for her love once manifest that overpowered me like a tsunami so rescued and yet. Am I not yet deserving her because of my actions, merit or qualities and worthy of her more than any other man alive? Young and tender like a rose blooming of sheer delightful fragrance that I cherish, will I not see her ever again knowing that I’ve lost my sleeping appetite. OMG! Love is dope, love is funny with my body language man, doesn’t she understand anything, doesn’t she have feelings for, can’t she tell that I’m falling in love with her instead of that other one that she introduced, that I am mysteriously overwhelmed and captivated by the whole of her package. That I will treat her right with total respect and cherish her alone, that I would like to marry her in a big church with God’s blessings, that I want to put my fingers in her hair and kiss her eyes. Is she just dumb or does not all interested at all. But she is cool and I love her I think, What? Nope, love don’t see me, it hasn’t come my way since I cannot remember to the point where my buddies suspected that something is awfully wrong with me, (no, I aren’t gay, some friends are ‘love the one you with’ haven’t murdered anyone, and socially girls are cool with me) but it is absolutely clear that nothing is wrong with me since I do get visually stimulated by that one and with the exception of not being the young gorgeous 19-years-old anymore.

Love don’t want me and yet it got me pursuing that one who already got her man, so I’ll have no modern Valentine’s Day now or ever from the only girl that I ever given this gorgeous ring of love to. It is obvious even though I haven’t received the green light of a love wink that there are a consideration in the air of steps before being in a relationship, and one may say that after a few months or a year that I’m still undergoing the screening the process. I’m wondering if any moment now she’ll say “congratulations” You’ve beaten out everyone else who was in the running for her hand. OMG!

Man, that would certainly be so cool and called for celebration. But I’m a dreamer, and most likely she sitting in her comfort zone killing herself with laughter. Aha! I’m like a curious high school boy (the gesture is pure poetic since “The Divine within me bows to the same Divine within you”) wanting to go over and politely introduce myself to her, and bring her into my world of Eros. An incredibly amazing innocent boy, a God of Love who has never experienced love from a girl or any girl or a romantic lady like her before, and so I’m wondering if she could brings that little more excitement including spiritual into my life. I’m thrilled of such thinking that it could opened up new worlds and possibilities that the next Valentine’s Day celebration will find me gifting her soft like her loose-fitting snuggly sleepwear that keeps her cozy with sanctuary before bedtime into the world of love. Yes, I’m happy with the thought. Maybe your story could venture into the world of romance, or to the very curiosity within the Creation of Man and Woman, or our Almighty who gave us this awesome ability to love, after all at its most basic level, has the requirement that one or more persons be present to share the experience. If the experience is not shared, then it cannot be love. This gorgeous romantic love feeling has inspired poets, songwriters, Shakespeare plays and the world’s greatest dramatist, movies, and even creative or artistic endeavors, you cannot denied or get away from this God bless feeling specifically (even though now a days we cannot disregard our ‘same sex’ brothers and sisters) towards a woman and a man for forming such foundation for a long term relationship. Maybe your story is about an appreciation, or recently in 2020 the global COVID-19 pandemic and the devastating woes of people’s lives and lifestyle here and around the world and the impact on countries economy’s. Maybe the themes is about a celebration of someone’s individuality, maybe it is about someone’s sexuality or country and its freedom and democracy, maybe it is about your wedding that had to be put on hold because of a devastating flooding.

Maybe it is about a person or persons with superior IQs who reads voraciously, maybe the story is about you or even a lady who worked 60 hours per week with overtime, trying to encourage her children that she will be a father and a mother who never received a special romantic Valentine’s Day card or diamond ring.

Maybe you know of such a person who do this so that she can get her children the best (barring race, religion, age, disability, national origin, discrimination), education that would eventually she hope leads to a top professional career later on in their life. Maybe your story could be about how your mom and dad raised you up instilling in you love and kindness, the pros and cons, not to mocked or bully anyone, have empathy, the value and dignity. The respect that must be given at all times to God, the humble gratitude, how to free yourself of the toxicity that surrounds us. You then would pass on these values onto your children reminding he or she that God love is a special love, and if they remain free of life’s toxicity then he or she’ll be open to loving others: a family of friends, co-workers, classmates and teachers, etc etc. Maybe you could write about your experience in dealing with your husbands or boyfriends, is he perfect or a piece of shit, is he inclined to commit domestic violence, does he provides for his family and take care of you. What grade or low high marks out of 10, after all it is said that ‘a man controls his emotions and passions. Whether single or married, a real man tamed his passions.’ Yes, in you there’s a strong story that may even gone viral or waiting to go viral if you are not too deep into privacy that are dying to come out about someone who is being treated differently, usually in a negative way due to a given characteristic, maybe it’s a confession of the soul to God of the jealousy, the falseness, ‘she was committing adultery with a younger man’, extramarital relations, the crime committed. Yeah take your time and write from your heart the strength of emotions or empathy (don’t be concerned about media likes or media shares or even followers if you’re into that kind of social networking. Satisfying your efforts whether on a fictional based or true hardcore, or spiritual are first and foremost, in other words concentrate on the passion within since you are unique, you’ve a voice and you’re indeed creative) that will immediately intrigues a reader since it is an important extension of you your character and so much more and, of all the things that have been bothering you for some time which could be a recovering from a broken heart, or even a surgery to remove cancer or other abnormal tissue from your breast (why did he breakup with me.

What did I do so unfair to him. I’ve given him the best years of my youthful life etc etc. Likewise, why did she breakup with me I don’t get it, I did nothing wrong, I bought for her all the necessary luxuries and comfort, a new car, a house, set her up in a profitable business, new fashionable clothing, put money into her account. I poured my heart out to her, I cherish and loved her more than any other. Still she aren’t content and treated me like a doormat and gone for someone else who treats her like shit, etc etc.) It may seem silly but somewhere someone had experienced your feeling or emotions and will enjoy knowing that he or her are not the only one when they read your story. It may not be a best seller or make you new friends to increase longevity but stay optimistic with added positivity, tell your story like a person (even though facing uncertainty) who holds the belief or the doctrine of optimism, it may not even make sense to someone but it may also have the potential power to entice since you alone are responsible for your own happiness that good things will come.You are still the master of your own destiny, you’ve so much to accomplish in our human short existence, make the most of everything whether it is in falling in love with a man of your dream or God which is a good choice since man needs God as likewise, and when you do for sure you’ll ask yourself is that really me.

Be an inspiration an optimist for everything that you do because in philosophy terms a person who believes that this world, this love for a woman or a man or this God is the best of all possible worlds, or that good must ultimately prevail over everything included evil. If you are a person of the Christian faith then maybe you could write your story about such teachings, that God, a reality which human consciousness cannot comprehend, that is He exists prior to time and to His creation. You’ll make sure that you will go to the top notch Church, get down on your knees and be quiet and let the Lord Spirit devour you in all its glory. Maybe you could write about the tools that you studied for to be used in today’s technology for success in money management. If I had to write my story it would be about the many times that I came close to death and what saved me from sudden death many times over. Like when I was 11 or 12 years old my first brush with death is when I fell off a tree being curious as to how far up I could climb not knowing that a honey bees hive or home to a colony of bees were on a branch that I put my hand on in so doing what feels like a thousand bees just came swarming on me. In a matter of split second my whole face and hands and my head and clothe were covered with bees that was biting the heck out of me. I lost my grips of holding onto the tree and fall to the ground, as I rolled over and over trying to dislodge the ferocious bees, I rolled too close to a steep embankment of about 150 feet drop as my feet dangling over the embankment as I held onto some tall grasses screaming my head off. My cousins heard my cry and came running they (not funny but they said “you silly boy, we will have to set you on fire to burn the bees off,” LOL) and some other boys. They grabbed a hold (by now some of the bees smell fresh blood and started stinging or biting the boy’s) of my hand and pulled me up while using anything that they could find in brushing off the live and dead bees off me.

There were other frightening escape deaths moments like near drowning, or jumping out of a chic bedroom window on a dark night cause her man had came home early from his business trip when she wasn’t expecting him at that precise time. Or when I was driving back from Atlanta, Georgia my car on a soaking thunderstorm afternoon on the Interstate I lost control of my car that ended up crossing the stream like medians or grassy islands, when what left of the car since I had hit a pole and blown out the rear tires, when I managed to brake and come to a stop, the car front was now facing the direction of speeding on coming vehicles. That was definitely a scary one. Yes, you can write about anything (of which we humans are good at, truth or otherwise. Good writing tells a full story, case in point the Bible for instance; in these days it is all about data and more data, and yet good writing of which I aren’t good at but learning serves the reader, not the writer. But what about writing just for fun no money the sake ha-ha-ha Bahamas of writing and telling a story?

You have to feel it and you’ve to enjoy it with some humor and gather some feedback. Do like it or not, yes but. Aha! F**k off! Have anything the writer stated had ever happened to you, etc etc). that feel or experience in your life? Goodness, you can even write about your favorite things such as music, healthy nutrition food, the best vacation that you ever have, what kind of physical exercises you do to keep you fit sexy and healthy, the kind of dating experiences, your church services experience and what you enjoy most about that church, your favorite pets because there’s a lovely story there. So too if you are business savvy on how businesses can operate more effectively in the ever growing digital economy. Maybe your story could be about how this is not the time to fall in love, or to remain silent on so many other things that affects humanity as well as our animals and worldwide nation’s health and well-being. Or even to be thinking about romance much more to be having a visionary romantic notions that are conducive to the feelings of love at a café with an imaginative stranger to such romantic atmosphere, or of having a fling with a or new nostalgic relationship, even though you are alone, sad and in isolation. Maybe your story could be about our present or past political mayhem and the lack of expediency since you did not expect to find yourself in your present situation, or of a nation leader against the facts and science or other political party while the people are dying, especially people of color and minorities, where as far as your eyes can see in many states there are extremely long lines.

Thousands of people lining up in their cars at food banks distribution, from Texas, Schenectady County and many more places, 10,000 hungry Americans families waited in long lines for hours trying to collect food boxes as over 23 million Americans in the month of April 2020 filed for unemployment amid a killer disease known as Coronavirus pandemic. Maybe you could write about your feelings that more Americans identify themselves as hardcore conservatives than being labeled as liberals, who are more inclined to or for maximum individual liberty in political and social reforms and to bring down the national debt. I and so many others volunteers to handout over 900 pre-made food boxes at a school to parents for their at home children due to the pandemic outbreak when these kids would in normal times have their healthy meals at schools. Maybe you could write about a wedding reception which was disrupted by a fistfight hair pulling between the bride and her new mother-in-law. The imagination of events in your country, in your community are all there in your head, it is just a matter of getting it out on paper or devices. But don’t worry, take your time and enjoy the fun ride. I’ve been writing on anything that I can find, a leaf, a toiletries roll paper, napkins, diaries, if for instance I am driving and something sprung up into my head weird as it might sound I would immediately park somewhere safe and write down whatever it is, and the same principle applies to my night dream.

What I noticed about writing especially poem or a love story is that if you don’t write it down for future reference then you lose the momentum to recapture whatever it is since it comes quickly into your mind and can also vanished the same way. We normally write stories or tales, or romantic drama or fictional related characters because we are reacting to someone, an event maybe a memorable or fun or of a disastrous experience, even though writing can feel like isolation if you’re only writing for yourself. Choose a topic that you enjoy, that is important which could be considered extremely personal to you, maybe a lovers fight if you aren’t too deep into personal privacy. What I like about writing and media sharing is the hope that someone has experienced the pleasant or not so pleasant moments and that person may say thank God I’m not the only human that are experiencing or feeling this way. Write continuously, research and read continuously about what you have in mind (even in Ancient Greece they thought that the heart is the centerpiece of the soul recognized the world over as a symbol of that instance but elusive romantic love when it comes to love emotions, of the soul and strong social ties) because what I find is that whatever I chose to be writing about. Someone somewhere have already written or said it, only difference between you and all the other millions of excellent and exquisite writers or notes takers is that your spin is about what you’ve experience in your life and so much more.

As a kid growing up I was and still is curious (as if I began to be sensationally curious about the whereabouts of the bride and groom, so with my inquisitive nature I started searching for them, then hearing my grandmama’s saying “boy get your ass back here and sit it down” to my surprise they were behind a huge oak tree making love, What?, just kidding), about most things that I lay my eyes on which also can apply to the girl to be my future wife. Goodness, I was so curious to know where babies come from and when I asked an older person they would look at me with crazy eyes, telling me not to be so “impertinent” how does a man and a woman perform the sexual act and does he have to give her money for it. Why do people dresses up to go to Church on Sundays, why is my penis so tingly and tiny and why don’t girls have penis, why does a beautiful lady overwhelmed a man and intimidate him with her sexuality, and is it a feminine power either because she makes more money than he. Why did that other woman kissed that other woman on her mouth, why is girls breasts larger than boys, what is up in the sky and who lived up there, and above all where does God comes from and is He Black or is He White, etc etc. LOL.

Sure, you look at me and are puzzled with amazement but what do you actually see, star quality, self-worth as a human-being, self-understandings, self-reliance with respect to determine that it is beneath my dignity to cheat should she so find me desirable to fall in love with me since you can tell. And all that is missing is just the need for a woman of the house to get me now and I will not disappoint so that we can celebrate next Valentine’s Day together, but I cannot have her, her the one. The right hookup with contacts and of course, I have an idea of how to put the money in the bank baby which could be sooner than I estimated. You look at me and surely you can see a man, an hard working going places man of character who commands the respect and admiration of all, this is no accidental claim but handed down through heredity and upbringing which played an important part in strengthening from the Lord Almighty and the perfecting of my respect for all women no matter what is their race or culture, prettifying or ugly, fat or skinny, (after all, my sweet mother is a woman and show me a man who loves and respect his mother and I’ll show you a man who will happily take care of her and do likewise to the woman that he so falls in love with) Christian or non-Christian. But especially to the one who makes me her own. Am I perfect, far from it, but I’m of His image so I’m in excellent company. Hey go ahead and make that dream come through. So you want to be a writer to tell your story be it of a romantic theme or nature, “A good name is to be chosen rather than great riches, since endurance produces character, and character produces hope” The world is at your feet and it needs writers of every kind, go for it and never look back with the exception of helping others. Like my friends tell me not to worry about punctuation, spelling, and grammar since you can always learn while you work.

The idea is to empty your brain of your idea immediately, write down every detail every item since you’ll definitely have to go back and make revisions changes, it’s a fun process. Naturally, you’ll need timeout to recharge or supercharge your brain, exercise your mind or redefine its hopes and dreams and that is a good thing since your mind needs to stay physically humble and healthy, which also has a strong effect on your sexuality and mental health. You aren’t a machine and don’t be too hard on yourself. Okay, so Maybe you are a college young, maybe high school or not so young lady, your time on earth are not forever and so you realize that whatever you so chooses to do you’ll want to rush at it heads up and on without hurting anyone or yourself. So I was conversing and exchanging opinions with a young Christian lady friend trying to encourage her and likewise her to me the other day, in uncertain times such as now we need to find that spiritual spirit to pour onto each others. “We’re finding the joy that is too easily overlooked when we were all running in such haste caring only about self and profits.

It’s a great opportunity to reset, reevaluate and make longer term adjustments. May you continue to be safe and well, and abundantly blessed,” she said to me. Yes, there’s a reason for everything, there’s a reason why I had no woman of my own to spend this romantic Valentine’s Day with, there’s a reason why the United States started last in warning or preparing the nation that a devastating killer pandemic disease were on its way. It is no accident that Wall Street New York Stock Exchange market fell so heavily, the symbol of American finance which also became the epicenter of this pandemic, but it meant nothing because they the profit takers had a government who would take care of the profit takers first and foremost before the ordinary Americans, the small business operators, the elderly, the millions of workers who will be thrown out of a job. The minorities community, all will have to wait or just go ahead and die. It is no accident that although America started last yet she overtake in deaths total all other nation’s. While we sat on our ass cowing conspiracies theory as if that means shit to the families of those whose dead bodies is buried with a tag somewhere in a excavation trench. Completely Ruined my Valentine’s Day romance and gifts to the elusive one who finds time to put me into a light romantic trance. God gave us everything including science but we continue to abuse our short time on this beautiful but dangerous life planet, hating each other thinking that I am okay Jack, it aren’t raining in my backyard so what do I care, no kindness thought, no concern that the other parts of the world are flooring, and in so doing killing everything including what I thought would be a fabulous romantic relationship. Goodness, you may even be thinking that a male companion as far as intimacy will just hold you back, but here you was sitting swapping intimacies with a millionaire stranger within such cozy atmosphere similar to a husband and wife. But it is you who will have to decide.

One thing is for sure, you just cannot be weak at anything that or any decisions that you make, it is obvious that you’ve a fabulous story in your head, maybe it will be a way of expressing the tenderness you feel for someone openly or privately or with another by gestures and postures as well as with romantic words like breathless, magical, ravishingly, ‘I Love You’ now compellingly ‘Since the bond of love is the strongest for it is tied with the most tensile thread of feelings and emotions’, but not tomorrow, maybe you are a mind reader. F**k, Say how you feel.

There’s nothing wrong in having a worthwhile conversation, whether it is about favoritism, laziness, management who aren’t eager to listen to your complaints about equality, discrimination etc, that’s what we human do or should do, but even Christ Jesus had problems (He said of those with preconceived opinions and wrong motives: “You skillfully disregard the commandment of God in order to keep your tradition”) in doing so with people because many are convinced even before you are finish or pause. That you’re wrong about something even though you’re right. When that happens your options is either to shut up, or listen to the idiot who will try to convince you that it’s their way or the highway, that right is wrong and wrong is right. Actually I’d find it strange because the same scenario can be applied in a relationship where your partner are always ready to shoot you down before your mouth is open. Oops! Here he/she goes again. Some will even put on a fake mask of politeness to guarantee in getting your head spinning. There’s a name for these kind of idiots that doesn’t worthy of your time, they’ll drained you tediously. In most cultures and societies as a whole, especially if you are of color or minority you’ll find people or individuals who thinks that he/she is far superior, they tends to look down (even if your education is above the norms) their noses and interrupt you in a heartbeat. These people are wounded from childhood and grew up with an obnoxious or dislikable mentality but they’ll be the first to tell you that they like the way that they’re. Naturally, You’ve the ‘conversational narcissists’ (CN’s) then there’s the ‘passive conversational narcissists’ (PCN’s) who can be charming with a fake mask, they’ll be the first to tell you that the media got it all wrong, that their leaders is doing a beautiful job. Let’s say for instance that you want to have a conversation about this crazy April month of 2020 concerning a grim milestone of real people deaths of 50,000 people in America from a disease so called the Coronavirus pandemic.

Well we will leave that to the history books since no surprises here to find some like the above will tell you no such catastrophic crises taken place. We felt the pain, we’ve seen the tears, but God are with us because He too have felt the pains of the human race and died trying to save us from our own kind. Jesus literally defined the worst pain anyone could feel.

His suffering began in Gethsemane, when God laid the sins of the world on His beloved Son. The intense stress He must have felt just let me want to breakdown and cried my heart out, such unimaginable burden caused what physicians call ‘hematidrosis’, a condition in which blood seeps out of sweat glands. Just think of it, it sounds so uncool in our lifetime especially when no empathy is shown. All those dead people, what did they do so badly to die from this disease when it could be prevented in its tracks, and who was looking out for the people to prevent this waste of life’s gifts. Pope Francis a man of the Lord had said it like this. Before the pandemic, “people were rushing through life, greedy for profit,” undisturbed by “wars and injustice” and not hearing the “cry of the poor or of our ailing planet.” So you see you’re an extraordinary and talented young lady and do have an incredible amount of time to love afresh or to fall in love with me, (just kidding but think about it since I’m so special like you) you’ve all the time and the world, and of course romantic courtships love to write about. Maybe you can even find something cute or gorgeously imaginable to write about me I so humble. Yes me a star in my own right. Maybe you can write about how the shops have sold out of sanitary essentials, such as toiletries and tissues rolls for wiping oneself clean after urination or defecation, in a present day catastrophe. Maybe you can write about how you cannot get your usual beauty treatments knowing that the beauty of a woman grows with the passing years, maybe you can write about how you missed Church gathering and friends and the power of worshipping the Lords hour.

Maybe you can tell a story of the fundamental differences to how you use time and how much it means to you, or explain if you come from a culture where time is flexible, abundant to love in peace and joy and is used to accomplish various things simultaneously without the need to rushed. How to spend quality time meditating with the Lord without fear. Maybe you can tell the story of The many doctors, nurses, grocery workers, law enforcement, first responders, scientists, the many many people’s who puts their own lives at risk to save others which may or may not include a relative, a husband, a wife, a girlfriend, a mother or father or a grandmother a granddad, a son or daughter, a beloved or someone that you know whose deceased body(s) laying silently in forevermore unloved darkness in a freezer vehicle. Maybe you could tell an impassioned story about the single mother or father who cried for the love once they had that is now missing.

Yes, cry intensely emotional if you have to because Lord knows the grief is hard to take, yes vehemently tell your story as history’s will show even if your eyes are filling up with tears, because no matter how hard we try or denied this moment we cannot escape from this monstrous disease and the ineffective decisions or lack of it that our incompetent political leaders make in just a few months that will continue to affected our lives globally, and especially right here and now in the United States of America. Yes, don’t be afraid in telling your story about a group or individual that does not succeed at accomplishing or moving towards a goal in saving lives. You know and can tell that when you make an effort to clean up but you do not end up actually cleaning anything at all, therefore you failed but you’ll still insist that it wasn’t your fault. Write your poetry, your poem, your literary literature work that is having a marked style intended to create a particular emotional effect not only on yourself but to all. Write your poem, do your painting or sculpture that depicts your story: “Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there, wondering, fearing, doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before,” Edgar Allan Poe. Yes, fear and anxiety are emotions that can trap you, but building up sufficient amount of courage in expressing your feelings to someone maybe in a love friendship will be a load off your mind. Telling him or her how much you care and will always be there, available for him or her because simply being there and showing concern can and always make a world of difference whether towards a love relationship, a professional partner or even to a stranger.

Maybe you could write about how for the first time in peace time the head of the Catholic Church, Pope Francis the leader of some 1,2 billion worldwide Catholics, the world’s most powerful religious post that is steeped in the doctrine and tradition on this awesome planet could not give Easter Sunday mass, a long-established custom or belief that has been passed on from one generation to another that is given or governed by religious laws. His prayers the “Urbi et orbi” message (Latin for To the City and To the World) in an empty St. Peter’s Square, at the Vatican on March 27, 2020 while a pandemic outbreak was taking plaguing Italy and was already doing the same in the United States of America. Suddenly we (make no mistake about this: We’re all going to get through this together even while many have since deceased and still are dying from this earth shattering time in our lives, we won’t forget you) found our usual normal world (from January 2020 at the low point of the pandemic curve) and lifestyle in a lockdown that found many of us subsequently submitting to or engaging in a virtual digital meeting or video conversing or conferencing (work from home, schooling the same, virtual spirit conferencing the same, friends and sports the same) replicated version of the things that we became accustomed to or normally do without fear of contracting a disease. Before that We could go out on a romantic dates, a special restaurant dinner event, a specialty beauty salon for such things as manicures, nail enhancements, pedicures while relaxing with Vogue, etc or take the kids to Disney World without fear while mixing with other visitors, etc.

We became a (quarantine, imposed isolation) prisoner in (some) our house, if any and to followed a government restrictions guidelines that were put in place to mitigate the spread of the U.S. Coronavirus disease (global) pandemic and to stayed in the house a home suitable comfortable for a king and your queen, to avoid large gatherings (crowds), to sanitized everything, to wash our hands with soap the proper way for 20-seconds, to keep a distance of 6′ feet and to wear a face mask covering mouth and nose. We also have also experience or noticed (while the curve of deaths were mounting in epicenter New York, February, March, April) what appeared to be a secretively arranged government supported protests amid state-level pandemic protesters protesting, calling for the reopening of the country while highlighting religious and economic rights against the lockdown and recommendations to stay at home especially older folks and people with medical issues. There are heroes, lots of heroes, there are tears too much to mention here but we can start with mother’s who have a son or daughter who are among the above 60,000 and still counting deaths on May 1st, 2020. I myself helped with friends help to give many hundreds of free school meals to school students. Personally my romantic true fantasy story of a young man Valentine’s Day delicacy and drama in a soulful world without his girl to charm with delicate romancing has been upended by a vicious pandemic disease that demands social-distancing of which I’m not accustomed to which is so very devastatingly real to both economically and the temporarily lost of dignity to many who become unemployed and have to relied on food banks.

Yes, suddenly my fantasy romancing affair that goes beyond the imaginative tale of a lonely Valentine’s Day, O’ man, for her love I would never empty boast and definitely would “walk it like you talk it” if she insists but I’m hurting, my high class friends who no longer wears choker necklaces but remembered prom dates and earliest heartbreaks are hurting, well some. Some in this fourth months (January, February, March, and April the deadliest heading into May) of catastrophic deaths and health crises are still merrily running their profitable businesses and working as if asking “what or where is the pandemic”) while getting huge amount of the pandemic virus stimulus checks from the government while others in many states are still scare for their health and dying from this pandemic (as of May 4th, deaths of Americans are above 68,000 which is staggeringly unbelievable) way before their time, and some are not hurting for anything. So yep, I’m hurting, two three four months of texting videoing and FT’ing, smartphone and other devices chatting but there’s nothing to beat physical contact (hey are you alive, WOW, I heard girl, yeah buddy just bored cause that B’ breakup with me in the cruel midst of what keeping us indoors, aha) or conversation since greatly missing the hugging and handshake with those who are close. Even though I must admit that I’m one of those who do not like to be touched by strangers, after the get to know you process is over then hey, whats up babe. This aren’t right, it is so uncool and not in accordance with American characteristics that typified our happy-go-lucky customs in friendly greeting a smile and warm hugs. So inhumanly lacking kindness or mercy, and not hugging is likened to a malignant tumor that are so oppressive or depressive. LOL! Come on, we cannot lived like this.

Well I can’t so let me go and asked her for a hug – from my many beautiful family trees that are so sexy to look at in my backyard, let me tell them about my Valentine’s love dilemma coupled with a virus that ruins my courting and specifically do not like my skin color or my aging youthful years. Let me tell them of how much I love them, they filled my emptiness and moves me to tears of joy when others seen them as only green leaves ready to cut them down for paper, since no one likes me now like before when I was a young rock star. But seriously I’m missing my girl, one two three. Valentine’s came and went away and I cannot help it if she is on my mind, putting her makeup on, I gently brush her hair as if I’m gay but she reminds me of her. And so Valentine’s Day will not find any romance in me this year, definitely I won’t ejaculate inside her while her kinky husband watching, but there’s something about her that is uniquely different from any other girl. Even though she reminded me of my first girlfriend dating, the way her waists are set to motion, business or pleasure sir. The way she walked commands me to stood and admire her walk, her walk said something about her in my eyes, knowing that I’m actually doing a calculation that the longer it took a young woman like her to walk the 18-meter long hallway to my office doorway, the sexier she walk. I cannot help it if she is on my mind although I’m armed with my bow and arrow, for you my lady I see no other light, causing me to also be walking with long steps surely ‘Solemnly’, to her tender bosom breasts I’ll and shall not bids farewell my fair lady, I pardon all my enemies the evils that they have done me, but with long strides amor.

I stood glistening for a lips like hers a lips never once maybe twice to kiss me as if I’m that important, true no woman last forever but my sword clanking to defend her. If not then let me explore my friendship in a new dimension, and yet I cannot help it in knowing that she reminds me of the only girl that I ever loved or substantially cared about who died in a car accident that ripped my heart out, the way that she touched her hair while talking is an habit of my first date. ‘I sadly bids farewell to her when my Cupid’s arrow could not penetrate or reach her and now I’m left alone to die, but waste no teardrops and shed none now since tears are precious. Love can be cruel I heard that said before and now I know, She hadn’t known me that well but success in all her future endeavors is in order, to my brothers and sisters, my friends and aunts. The idea that love is long gone dead, the idea of being forever separated from her, never to touch her tender bosom breasts on that gone Valentine’s, and from them and from all their troubles is one of the greatest sorrows that I suffer in dying but alive in a perplexed realms’ where twilight gods sought my blood as if I so seek shelter from the biting winter winds. Nevertheless I found myself liking her because she reminds me of her with her gorgeous fun loving ways that makes me smile. And so I have my Cupid’s bow and arrow, also have my helmet in hand just in case the ‘Swan Knight’ advance any towards her. After all, ‘a hug is a form of nonverbal communication in my happy-go-lucky healthy world, it is also the most common way to express non-relationship love and affection. ‘I love you man’ you know, the late-night booty play stuff, my husband boyfriend is outta town, ‘we love each other but we cannot do anything about it’ since we are respected people stuff or neither of us will admit it stuff’ even though we’ve been friends forever. Ah! Come on, we’re not robots you’d have that feeling, Don’t you?

Everyone needs some physical contact to survive, and hugging, having a cocktail, laughing, ain’t misbehaving, hi how are things with you is an act of giving and receiving the support and love’ of friends. I applied for five jobs that I had fallen in love (very much like the girl that I stupidly fancied) with but only got three acknowledgements from a girl who are not the least interested in me, (a scenario that grandma said would happen) my mansion, my money, my gentleman attitude, my dreams of high class lifestyle. Imagine being rich and humble and are able to give money away to charitable causes, to help people on the frontline of this pandemic, to feed hungry children, after all Jesus love those who are generous and it is good for your overall health, people feel better and most fulfilled when they give to others. Yes for love I’m crushin’ down, cuttin’ pain in poverty or in my romantic sway but my lesbians One Teo and Two is. But she isn’t my priority of levity within carefree frivolity but are mindful of getting down to the business of a love relationship in a serious way, unless she’s an archaeologist since, we all have or know of someone in some kind of past romantic relationship, to let go or still clinging to with greatly denial or to admit it into consciousness. Pleasant or unpleasant but she may enjoy living and sleeping alone while establishing her career, and absolutely nothing is wrong with that because there is no gratitude to a woman from some men, also no guarantees that a relationship will last for the duration of what were considered perfect. After all, in today’s society whether before college or after a young woman career must comes first, it is a must if she expects to gain maximum success especially if she’s a young woman of color, and happiness from the many hours you invested in yourself, your ability, your work etc for your entire adult life.

Naturally the last thing or farthest on her mind is a relationship especially with a man who will prevent her from attaining her main goals. And furthermore if your partner isn’t the right fit you could end up being injuring yourself before attaining that all important high-ranking position, not only that but less dramatic than a relationship that isn’t living up to the high expected standards. But you may have been this close to achieving your goals but supporting your family may impede the final outcome. But O’ my gracious Lord, I cannot get off my mind as if she is that special, but she must be special otherwise I wouldn’t be thinking of her, I swear I wouldn’t, after all you look at me surely you can tell without any doubt that I aren’t your ordinary come lately Johnny black man. Sure, I can get a warm woman, I can get women, but they’re not what I need. Yeah yeah, my nigga; my bro; my dog. So like grandma like to say “the proof of the pudding is in the eating,” LOL my sweet grandma do knows her s**t, since the phrase was generally use to say that one had to try the food in order to know if it was good. Hmm. A lot of men boasted that they have a big penis but then the woman would ask if they knew what or how to use it, do they know how to set her hips on fire, do they know how to give a head-shot and avoid disappoint in the bedroom two hour slow fast water walk. LOL, test me she’ll not otherwise she wouldn’t have abandoned me on Valentine’s night Day cause she so scared of it. LOL this is fun. Anyway, essential espionage is in the works for her love with camouflage. Especially when she playfully pirouette like whirling about on one foot or on the points of her toes, as if ballet dancing, and so here I will sit on a chair that supports my romantic weight out on the veranda, seriously wishing that she were sitting right here beside me in the stillness of the night.

I found a message in my mailbox from (it is kind of confusing as if I must go on social media to bleed my heart out but I think that I understand and won’t push it to mean something else) her saying: “I’m sorry that you had to spend Valentine’s Day away from me and I was as always thinking of you. But I need some more time to think, and although you’re a super wonderful guy, the best that I or any other woman could ever want for a partner I’m just not ready for a commitment relationship with you or anyone else as of right now, but we can still be friend if you want. Please don’t be thinking that I’m uncertain about you or that I’ve found someone other than you, or that I might be exploring other options. I just need more time to balance out some issues in my life and what is needed or missing, so let me encourage you to take stock in knowing that, you’re not alone in feeling lonely, letdown, or suffering quietly,” she said. But quite frankly I wouldn’t dream of naming a cockroach after her cause I think she is just testing me to see if I love and care about her and won’t go wooing other women on an online dating site.

But I am not like that, I am not a cockroach, on the contrary I’d have a strong code of ethics, I have a strong love feeling for her and only her. So here I sit and dream of the time we shared a cocktail, gazing hazily at heavenly stars with vague shapes over distant hills where she enters my thoughts and feelings during this uncertain lover’s time of a romantic love so seek. Dressed in angel whites as I began thus wondering if whether she have shoved me entirely out of her reclusive life, that I fought so intensely to be apart of. O’ Valentine’s what am I supposed to do? Cried my heart out till it hurts for her did you say? Shed tears of strong emotions now that she is back or the utterance that she has took my heart and pot of gold and disappeared like a crocodile never to be seen again? But I’m a man, a born hunter that will and must survive for the one, no disrespect to a woman cause anything that I can do she too can do the same. But I’m a man an infant born from a precious woman, I handled myself and reputation like a gentleman that deserves respect and so I loved her like a man who will protect her to the best of my ability. To work with her cause what I may find entertaining she may not, places that I would like to go she may not wanting, but the important thing is for us to build a luxurious future in good health and beauty in happiness comes what may. Since I ain’t bullshitting when it comes long-term. So what am supposed to do, move on since she doesn’t want or need me? “Yes,” and come to me so said another one. But it is not that simple cause I had made up my mind from the day I met her and made love to her that I would loved no other but her. Which is like saying you’ve (got the spiritual calling) made up your mind to worship God till death, it just wouldn’t be right to go one quarter of the journey then turn your back on God. Crazy as it sounds I’m aware.

But then I remember that God spirits said to me that there’s a reason for everything, that He loves me cause my heart and intentions are good and He won’t forget me in my hours of needing, He will send the one who so love me. So I will wait, maybe forever. I have been so patiently this long, what the heck. “A good thing is worth waiting for,” she said. Is she or would she cried me ‘purple rain’ and then diminish me? But The gorgeous bouquet flowers I bought for her is still sitting by the window ledge becoming dry and shrivel up, the beauty products that I bought to allow her to indulge in mindful moments of soothing beauty rituals, the manicures in soft shades to polish her already impressive look, including bold & bright makeup that embrace her color with eye-catching palettes that rocks all are still sitting on the window ledges near the dresser drawer. Will she withered me with scornful looks like don’t bother me and stop spending money on me?

So should I abandon all communication and go stay in a luxury hotel and masturbate on a dinner plate or called up my lesbians friends and pamper her? Or since I have three more singles guys friends like me, call them up, get drunk at my private home bar table, host a poker fun night, take a trip down to Brazil and hookup with some hot bare booty chic’s at a sports ball game? Still thinking. Man my Cupid’s arrow has suddenly have no meaning, since I will not pamper her in a bubble bath with high quality wine or champagne chocolates with candles and soft music? My arrow is frozen in a time capsule and remains inactive and so it’s just me and you now, two lonely hearts and souls avoiding other people but would be delighted if I could join her in solitary, where I rowed with one broken oars in the stillness of the night on dark surface water. Along the coast on the lookout to (kidding) steal a canoe that would take me to her luxurious ‘luster of the moon’ bedroom that are clutter-free decor, adorned with chandeliers and beautiful objects such as her artistic paintings, patterned pillows, flanked by beige bedside drawers with tiny elegant details and sumptuous bedding. I so glimpse into her private world that seems just out of my romantic reach. Don’t be alarmed but I cannot stopped from being inquisitive in wanting to know whether she will be here for me as I likewise to let her thrive & bloom in good days & bad for me, she said that she would and I believed her, but a woman do say these things but actually means something entirely different.

So the question remains as to whether this is the night I lay with a long stiff thing beside her silent body, (there isn’t any indisputable proof that her love if any is defunct, although her gorgeous thighs she promises would remain open to me) ‘ahh’ a corpse, shall I buried her in her luxurious Manhattan apartment freezer? I’ve been aimlessly wandering as if Alzheimer’s at such a young healthy active age had cast a spell on me among young women who have a distaste for men. They’ve threatened to devour me like hungry females spiders, and I’m left roaming for love like an itinerant preacher, and so I’m wondering if I should buried her among the silent rusting cars, since she no longer is sexually useful or otherwise. And so again now that Valentine’s or Cupid’s charms (so used in modern times as a lover’s symbol of Valentine’s Day is relinquished to ask the question. Is my love decaying with longing wishes to be smoldering in a gorgeous, insightful romance, but will new Cupid challenge me with a beautiful love dual motion for a spontaneous beat to my heart now yours I will follow for that unique love? O’ goodness, a point of duty to always tell her how much I have the deepest admiration for her even when her hair is in a messy state, after all a woman blossoms fully in an exquisite atmosphere of praise and adoration from her man. This always work to the guy benefits when he let her heard it from him instead of someone else especially from another man who may well be saying things to her that her man aren’t saying. Will she anytime soon tell me: “Your hungry eyes scan me, making me tremble and yearns for you, your misty eyes are like the early morning dews when you’re near me.” Yes indeed, I’m feeling her with a huge bulging from her toes that I so like to licked and stimulate her hidden ovaries on up to her head, in or out of her cute thigh-high slit leather skirt. Will she bit my ear whispering that “I definitely want sweet sex from you now before you marry me.” Well I guess that she had been stimulating her clitoris, the “Aye, the rub” by using her fingers, or sex toy to slide (mimicking my motions aiming tenderly to her G spot I guess) up and down or back and forth across her clitoral which makes me jealous especially when knowing that I was available and lonely for her on Valentine’s Day.

Yes, such love got me exaggerating with excitement to such exhilarating experience for such sense of purpose and feeling like a little boy, who is hungry (or about to receive his first toy) for her honey. So much so that I have tried to get some honey out of her bee hive and was woefully stung in the process, still I licked my wounds with determination to inspire love to others for such passion and for every victim of a Valentine’s Day love. O’ cruel Valentine’s where art thou, she sworn not my name to love, but ought thy love hidden me that so considered a god of desire, a boy now a man of such to, who so seek a tender love of bosom flesh beyond erotic romance to the beauty of attraction and affection? O’ leave me not far cause I’m here standing unnoticed beneath your balcony with bouquet to show my extraordinary male love that will make it happen for you to be elated, since your eyes reminds me of there earthly blooms. Fabulous like sunflowers and ornamental kale that will not withered but are as tender and soft as your bosoms breasts. O’ come you glorious one and woke from your beauty slumber to recognize me, be conscious of me and hold my hand since never will my bow and arrow be able to penetrate that one, but instead I’ve fallen in love with her hideous jealous sister so dubbed a monster. Who’s husband plotted and insisted that she should kill me before I steal her beauty of which there’s almost none. More to follow, in the meantime since a killer virus so happens to disrupt my Valentine’s Day fun or lack of romance I had to include what was being happening to both here in the U.S. and around the world as this pandemic runs amuck (of which the United States President called the disease “an hoax, it will magically disappeared”) both with human fatalities, the nation economy, personal happiness and major disruptions to the otherwise normal ways of life. Today is May 12, 2020.

I started writing this Valentine’s love story way back in January and at the time the pandemic wasn’t as scary as it is now on through the month of February just when lovers of Valentine’s were getting ready to celebrate such festive romantic time of the month which had to be put on hold. Then by Easter it had gotten worse in spreading to all fifty states. The world then realize that the pandemic disease wasn’t a ‘hoax’ nor would it ‘magically disappeared’ as the president claimed. It were much more devastating since the Vatican could not hold or carries the celebrating of Christ Jesus and the Masses for Holy Week and Easter Sunday to the tens of thousands of faithful who in normal times would have travel from many parts of the world to St. Peter’s Square.The pandemic disease was ravishing Italy. On March 27, 2020. Praying in a desolately empty St. Peter’s Square. Pope Francis on Friday likened the Coronavirus pandemic to a storm laying bare illusions that people can be self-sufficient and instead finds each other’s help and comfort. Today May 12, the U.S. deaths and still counting as the president given the green light for states to re-opening up the country economy on the backs of over 80,000 deaths. The pope then compared the viral disease to an “unexpected, turbulent storm” “all of us fragile and disoriented” and needing each other’s help and comfort, while our American president were laughing at the disease, claiming “its a hoax, it will magically disappeared in a couple of days, it’s no worse than the common flu.” Well it crippled New York and as of April 20, 2020 and still counting deaths from this COVID-19 has reached 40,000 plus (over 60,000 as of now April 30th).

The pope thence prayed: “Lord, may you bless the world, give health to our bodies and comfort our hearts.” Yes my friend, this is happening now in your lifetime so maybe you can let your hair down and even though it will be so sad, write your story of a momentous tragic events to health and the nation economy with great consequences entailing lockdown, schools, businesses, stay at home, sporting events, places of worshiping, parks, social-distancing and the lost of some 30 million plus jobs and many trillions of dollars that Congress dished out as a stimulus to help businesses. Tell your story about the utter failure or the fiasco entertained by our federal government on the health and well-being of our citizens since this pandemic catastrophe started five months ago and, of political leaders and party who were and still is extremely slow in taking action on a global disease that hits our shores that seems to take great interests in the older adults population. This is your time, you’ve heard many version including the hypocrisy hype and the misinformation that confuses you including the conspiracy theories. You’ve heard the facts including scientific, you’ve listened maybe to some breaking news whether digital or networking or cable, you’ve gathered the facts from the fiction so be bold and Tell your story or version as to why so many innocent people in the short space of four months died (80,000 + still counting) from this pandemic. Tell about poor people who had loved ones who died without saying goodbye, whether in a nursing home or on a hospital ventilator. Tell or write your story about all the heroes, the people who zipped up the thousands of body bags, the heroic hospital workers such as doctors and nurses who with fear of contracting the disease still finds courage and manage to save lives but with tears hidden behind eyes wishing he or she could have saved that one life of a grandmother if, only proper protocols were in place.

The grocery workers, the first responders, the law enforcement officials. Tell of the tears and grief that you’ve seen or heard about. Tell of people of color, tell of tribes who are decimated and the slow bureaucracy in helping these people in this phenomenal crises in the less favorable zip code. Tell of the hatred and the discrimination at a time when we all are in this health and economic crises together that shown to people of color, the cultural phenomenon and roll the dice as to who to save and who to let die based on age, overall mental health, religion, people with disabilities, the struggle for those without health insurance. Tell of the testing fiasco. Tell of the undocumented immigrants who contracted COVID-19 who dies somewhere in America like an unknown soldier. Tell about the minorities and to some extent Latinos and people with existing health problems causing deaths. Yes my friend, write your story because you felt the pain for the dead people’s families and the nation, if you don’t after what you’ve experience, seen or heard in the past five months concerning this 2020 killer pandemic then someone else will.

Certainly when your child or children is old enough they’ll want to know how did you survive this pandemic, what was your role in protecting them, how did you home school them etc, and whether you was laid-off from your job which causes some extreme difficulties. Certainly you’ll want to tell them that many many people who make between $45,000 and lower was the first to lose their jobs out of the 30, million + who suddenly became first time unemployed since the disease came to our shores. Tell them that people who makes $145,000 and above was and is still sitting pretty. Certainly the history that is being written now in fifty years time will reflect back on this modern catastrophe about the 80,000 + deaths from January to May and still counting that could’ve been avoided, even so now in May that the president are insisting that states start the re-opening process of the economy while still in the midst of the pandemic virus. Tell your story about a captive population that includes large numbers of people with underlying medical problems that had contracted a killer disease so called COVID-19 as an inmate of the federal prison or jails, and of course the vast majority of these people are of color. Tell your story like a professional journalist would, say that you were this close to injecting yourself with bleach when hearing the president of the United States in one of his foolishness briefings on April 23, 2020 suggesting that “injecting disinfectant as a Coronavirus cure or to kill the virus.” No, it isn’t a myth this mayhems and maybe I can tell you of how I gotta settle for a quieter stressful Valentine’s Day since COVID-19 came intruding and ruining my romantic celebration in my bedroom and that for sure makes me mad as hell. Tell your story transfer what you have diligently written in your diary or journal of how in your opinion the CDC and the president dropped the ball and still doing so in May on the American people and the economy.

Yes my friend, your story is a painful and gut wrenching one especially about the public health and the outbreak of this pandemic and the way the government handles the deadly situation, so take your time and tell it well from the heart without bias. Lay criticism where it is due since some are bias against truth, facts and reality. Tell of the scattershot approach that the administration has and still is taking a gamble in the month of May that puts states at risk and in so doing continuing to leave the U.S. and her people and the economy vulnerable to a potentially open-end wave of infections. Write your story because so many Americans’ have suffered and lost so much including many lives in a peace time from this outbreak when it could have been averted.

After all, haven’t we long accepted the labeling of our country with wisdom, richness, freedom including religious faith and values, technological innovation, expertise in medicine, and weapons of war as the ‘greatest country on the face of the Earth’ Haven’t we? Tell your story like this. Say the 2020 pandemic has been devastating for so many adults and including young children who had no school or playground or school meals for the less well-off especially those families who tries to survive from paycheck to paycheck meaning those who are unable to meet monthly financial obligations to go to because of safety restrictions. Making it more important than ever to reach out with a helping hand or voice to comfort those in need. Asked your question. Think about what if president had reached out to the American people and to some extent the world since we’re that powerful. What if he had tell us that we’ll get through this crisis together, when all that we needed was a steady reassuring voice instead of peace meal rhetoric, we’re aren’t stupid. Well some of us aren’t even while so called legal challenges to stay-at-home orders gain momentum in early May in places such as Wisconsin where the state Supreme Court invalidated the state’s coronavirus health order. Obviously politics are overriding ones health and well-being. So lets ask an hypothetical question in assuming an improbable scenario that would lead to a logical conclusion as to What if he the president from the get-go had said to the American people: People of America, in the last few months I as your president had underestimate the severity of this pandemic outbreak and for that I’m truly sorry. We’ve all had to navigate through this unprecedented experience and challenges that we never imagined we’d be facing.

Your understanding, flexibility and the courage of so many including medical and scientific professionals and workers of every skill have filled me with immense gratitude. I’m asking each and every one you to adapt to changes, some are painful but we’ll be stronger once we get through this unprecedented time. My government are putting in place guidelines to keep you, our colleagues, and our communities safe. We’re asking you for your full cooperation, in God we prayed. God Bless America. Why didn’t the president say something as simple and meaningfully effective that I think wouldn’t be viewed as too ‘alarmist’ sounding like that to the American people before 80,000 deaths? Yes, write your story, talk about the anxiety of not knowing what’s going to happen for the immediate future of the (“class of 2020”) more than 4 million young people who are expected to gradate with a high school or college degree this academic year where because of the pandemic will be mindful that over 30 million people + is now in May and beyond will be out of full time employment. These newly grads will be facing a unique situation in the form of an economic downturn, and worries about how long shutdowns will last. Just for a few seconds think as we approach hurricane season what would happen if we were to a major hurricane with COVID-19 still lurking around where hundreds of people have to take immediate shelter. It’s a scary thought.

Yes, Maybe you can write about yours or someone’s else who told their stories about their experience in keeping sane, being creative in close quarters, being quarantined, getting angry, virtual tips for communicating during these difficult times. Maybe you can write about self-schooling’s or home schooling your kid or children, a pleasant task but also draining since you hadn’t done this before. I for instance used this ‘shelter-in-place’ period according to guidelines to take up outdoor activities nearby my place of (being a single person I still have the freedom to do what some cannot do, it is all about staying sane, safe and well while having some memorable fun to enjoy whatever you want or feels like doing, after all the desire to be happy while being creative whether baking a romantic self cake, or playing a musical instrument is one of our deepest yearnings of our human soul. Guarantee you’ll find something amusing to do that will engage your brain and complete body, make every day a priority) living and enjoying nature. My free in home time (made possible by the outbreak of this killer virus disease that out of nowhere unexpectedly turned a majority of us lives upside down) is also used up in writing about romantic love stuff that I get great pleasures out of, (so much so that get my friends or my gorgeous daughter to read back to me, and it sounds so good as I do revision and touch up here and there) such as this piece which I was in the process of doing before COVID-19 came and camp into our lives. I wrote about romancing, romantic stuff because I’m a dreamer of such and I love to treat my girl wife or sweetie pie with gifts and make she feels nice, always dreaming about that girl that I cannot have or the one who doesn’t need me, you know what I mean? And because I’m at present a bachelor guy longing for that elusive bachelorette with a bank account aha, (not that I need her life’s savings or anything like that, What?) that lived alone like so many other young or older folks.

I’m immensely enjoying my single lifestyle (but having enough cash in hand is always having the upper hand me, it is never enough to pay bills and all the other things) but must admit (after all come to thinking of it that God didn’t see fit for me as a man male to live without a female woman I think, but it is all about timing, being at the right place at the right time, connecting, and finding the right one with a matchable personality I think) that I’d miss the scenting of a romantic woman that is so distinctive to my subconscious being level in my home and that is why I am a boy and she’s a beautiful girl. She is more than a model and her scent do worth more to my taste than her looks or the size of her bank account. I miss waking up beside her and watching her stretching breathing in and all the things that she does as a woman, I miss squeezing her a glass full of delicious and healthy morning orange juice, to speak to her, to kiss and smile or laughed with her.

After all, a life in a relationship without laughter aren’t much of a life at all, to make structure plans with since even in the best relationship it is okay to create routines consistency that takes the confusion out of where we’re going or doing. I miss putting a few dollars as a reward for loving and caring about me in her hand and to see the appreciative reaction on her face. I miss watching her smile and the length of time it takes her to get dressed when I offered to take her out on a romantic date. Sure, I ain’t no hoe (whore, a derogatory piss on me prostitute term LOL) but yes I’m quite popular with the ladies without boasting, so I’d have my lady friends who are tight with me, but I cannot find that special someone that is for keeps at least not yet and maybe there’s no elusive one left that I can have. Hmm a sad thought, and yet she’s telling me that she’s available and waiting so patiently. But the majority of those that I’ve known and liked are already in a respectful commitment relationship. Yeah it sounds crazy I’ve it all but still I’m lonely boy. I write about things that I love and finds interesting, like my pets dogs and cats and Brazilian parrots and my lesbians friends, I told stories about deep love and the intense feelings of deep affection because I’ve been down that road that feels like I’ve never known what it is like to be loved outside of family. Sure, I heard it said many times but I am not convinced and maybe I am asking for too much or that I am totally spoiled.

Sure, many may think, of which I also do that I’m much too old now to be fantasizing but to be honest it keeps me alive of which I’m blessed and totally grateful, to indulge in reverie within a state of being pleasantly lost in my daily thoughts, and since I’ve the bachelor key right here right now it allows me to conceive fanciful and even extravagant notions as long as there’s money baby and excellent credentials with credit in my pockets. As long as people or her can respect and trust me, it also makes life a pleasant dream to play but are also mindful of responsibility since I’m a grown man and of which every man should take seriously. My only problem is that it also caught me fantasizing about her the unavailable one which makes me feel like I’m reliving my 20th birthday over again, a good feeling. I don’t think that I’m much different from most now single guys or women who for whatever the circumstances no longer have the love of one’s life, and therefore had to starts or on the verge of asking, shall I try to find new love or just say to hell with it I’m better off by myself and remain single for the remainder of life’s journeys? Personally, My thought on that is no, I need a woman of my own and likewise to let me feel like a complete man that would helped me to stay out of troubles and to make her my solely priority. I want to hold her hands, to say sweet things to her and to do the things that are typically suitable for us to do. It gives me reasons to be hopeful because I have always thought that love were meant to be long lasting between a man and a woman who are in an excellent relationship minus the occasional hiccups that are not considered a big deal. And so it can keep two people even if both are on the gay marriage side of life together for a lifetime, if it is real love and not just a convenience love affair or a crush which usually is very short-lived, and most likely it will wears out. Which also got me asking myself if it was that wicked rhapsody of infatuation or that dreaded crush she laid out on me?

The answer I could not delicately express to anyone who would comprehend, after all I fell into an infatuated state like I’m being completely carried away by the unreasoning passion of sexual love and became addicted to her youthful body and bosom breasts at the beginning that smitten me with such romantic affection, that eventually got me in trouble. I never did give it much thought in knocking it but now it dawned my me that it was a sexual crush that got me hooked. But then love can also be understandably be described as a strong feeling towards a, in my case my sweet Valentine’s Day girl depending upon the relationship circumstances so shared between two people. I’ve been down that sweet heavenly bliss road of love so speaking metaphorically and then like huge waves it crashes me against the shore. She never look back to aid my bleeding since I must have treated her as a thing with my reckless emotions. The pain were to follow in asking what did I do wrong even though the answer were steering me into my face, even while having the awareness that love is tender and sweet, any other actions is asking for disgruntled troubles leading to being vexed and cross. Why did she leave me or why did I leave her, obviously something gone horribly wrong that could not be mended and now the excitement, the euphoria is over that not even a sex therapist can fixed. She the golden love of yours or even my life no longer here to say; “honey guess what, it is bitterly cold outside I will put your favorite dress on with some makeup on for just your eyes only and let’s stays home and cozy up together tonight by the romantic fireplace,” not that she needs any makeup on since she’s already beautiful and sexy. But I’m a man, I confront agony, hardships and death, a soldier with the ability to act rightly in the face of popular opposition, an hunter courageously trying to overcome sorrow and disappointments because I cried all night over the death of a loved she once said was mine, and yet I lived solely for the purpose to humble myself in the beauty of spiritual love that now guided me against lust of the flesh, lust of the eyes which were never sincere but now one with a motivational heart.

Knowing that I were born for a sincere purpose of bettering my life on a platform that enhances our values of which when my new partner comes she will be an important inspirational part of this betterment. O’ Valentine’s my Cupid’s arrow will not leave my bow, shall I just close my eyes and let go. Take a chance did you say? Ok, but philophobia is snapping at my ankles giving me that fear of women towards falling in love. There, I said it. After all, I wouldn’t know what to do with a woman now due to the length of time that I’ve been without a bosoms breast’s resting on my chest. Maybe I would just retreat into my shell, and moreover real love makes us feel almost completely vulnerable since a new relationship is so uncharted, and furthermore new love do stirs up past hurts. You know what I mean? With real joy comes real pain, real questions new or old lies, new explanations. Why, why, how long etc. There’s always something hidden, and yet for the new love to work like it should total honesty will have to come out full circle. Can you handle the truth? I must however admit even though I’m strong an bravery of loving I still often times felt as I gotten older this phobia fear of new romantic love or to the point of forming an emotional attachments of any sort, and yet A true date with her is truly memorable, and to my eyes she brings a sense of stateliness sensation that she so fully aware which also suited any settings.

She is as pretty and delicately fresh and soft like these tenderness roses. O’ with her I’ll accept and forevermore lived in paradise, but I must be dreaming which occurs frequently like a man’s child, wishing on a star for a good wife but it is said over hills, suburbs, and valleys that it is so hard but not entirely impossible to find a good wife. And should I find one, a rare one then I will certainly consider her as a precious gift from the Holy Spirit because I’m so blessed with luck since she’s worth more than rubies. She would certainly be of rarity, she does not lied or cheat, she does not partake in the vanity of human wishes or to flattered herself to think I was in love with her, and yet I must admit that I am maybe. She stood out brighter than diamond and she strives to be a rare ruby who stands out as a woman who loves and fears the Lord who knows her place but are nothing to play with, or to be taken for granted. She brings me courage in my time of needing and it so happens that the Bible teaches us that courage comes from having (in my situation) a woman or people around us that encourage us. Often times I think that she would make me a good wife who openeth her gorgeous mouth with wisdom, a virtuous woman and from her tongue came kindness, she is then a crown to her husband. O’ my sweet Valentine’s will my Cupid’s arrow be ever aimed at such willing hearts? Yes, so said one. That then would allow us to make decisions about the most important things in life, and of course she wouldn’t go hungry for anything because I would feed her on milk and honey to such delicious everything including sweet dates every time, Aha. So what does the description of a ‘good wife’ feels like?

Hmm! Well according to a friend of mine, she reckons that: “A good wife is someone whom you couldn’t imagine living apart from. Someone who is fun to be with, witty, funny, beautiful, sexy and faithful. A good wife is someone who has things in common with you, but is not the same as you,” she said of which I could easily concur to such scenario because I feel that day-to-day communication and respect is one of the key ingredients to a good solid marriage. This also I would think is to know that she’s supportive and have a good understanding, and of course is she easy to get along with. I would also think that likewise on the man part of being a good husband since a wife I would assume likes her husband much more when he is compatible, this would make her enjoy her married life even more and keep the romance alive while maintaining her own identity. Ok, lets rapped up this rather sad but also meaningful and sweet romantic Valentine’s Day mixture that contains a sense of responsibility, priorities, tragedy, lonesomeness, the miles that separates and the awkward situation that one could be in either sometimes for the best or sometimes for the worst in a relationship. Although I’ve been writing (actually from early boyhood days, I knew that I had some talent or the natural aptitude to be famous and people said so, but lacking the educational tools, the height, the good looks including the quality hair and the straight nose and, the wealth etc.

I needed a talent spotter, I even at one time were keeping my fingers crossed and secretly praying that of all people Miss Oprah Winfrey would discover me, O’ the things that a poor background black boy or boys and even girls dreamed about. Don’t tell her that I said that, since I’m now a famous blessed adult, LOL)., for many years, it is just for fun that allowed me to portray my emotions and writing as a learner who are trying to set some kinds of foundations while going through a process. Yes, I write about the heartbreak since we as humans do goes through that at an alarming rate one way or another. It is unavoidable, within the realm of advantages and disadvantages where some people mask their feelings when they’re in the middle of an extreme emotional state, in my case the feeling of loneliness sitting at the dinner table where she normally sits is just an empty chair now. She took everything but left behind her favorite Victoria’s Secret turquoise lingerie, one pair of thong panties, one gorgeous pair of Appliqué push up summer bra and her hair brush. One unused lustrous “love that red” lipstick and two strands of her hair and her favorite tennis racket. Yes, my Valentine’s my Cupid’s arrow is empty without her and should you so happen to see her going by after COVID-19 pandemic is gone, minding her own business and looking like a top model remember that she may very well got me on her mind. So don’t bother her, remember also that she is a decent girl. She aren’t a stripper, she aren’t into goth dark subculture horror-mystery, her life is about sensuality fun, to welcome each new dawn with laughter and prayer gratitude to the Holy Spirit. Not sins, not voluptuousness in as much as she is sexually attractive she has a brain beyond that, and for sure despite not sexuality at least not for any moron but for me.

So should anyone happens to see her wearing that glamorous ‘love that red’ lipstick, she aren’t wearing it for a pickup or any reason or special occasion and she’s quite definitely not easy or wanting to bed anyone other than me. We just had some misunderstanding and she’s probably at her mother cooling off till I get my senses back together. So hey ‘babydoll’ I’m lonely for you and I’ve change my ways to be a much better man. Yes, most of my romantic tales are actually real but comes also with a touch of fiction fantasy that deals with characters or events that do not exist to spice it up a little or near to what inspired in our human life, including spiritual or the outer reaches of our mythical romantic world. So actually I’m combining as you would have noticed three stories of now events into one since mentally both hurt so very much when considered the lack of empathy even if is just temporary. During these uncertain times, I also keep in touch with friends and make my daily posting of my stories on the merry-go-round social-media (without the viral hype) network such as mega Facebook and Instagram that are my preferred choices. I also get or make sure that my daily activities include some forms of stretching and short work workout exercise (after all and sad to say that I’m not the young 20 year old stud that I once was and prayed that I may survive this latest pandemic disease that seems to take a keen interest in the well-being of older black folks) until the lockdown on gyms return to some opening normality, in that way boredom is held to a minimum.

So yes my dear friend of whom unfortunately I’m not acquaint or have the pleasure, but I’m sure if you should happen to be passing this way and glance at this post, then Maybe you could write about yours or someone’s else inspiring journey within the imparting of knowledge, and the Lord knows that we’re in need of such right now. Maybe of someone overcoming an addiction of some sort who got an incredible opportunity and never look back. Maybe you could even write about me an unknown American author imaginary tales who over the years sketch and wrote about a paradise romance that got turned down by others who thought such explicit details or language was way ahead of its time and wasn’t suitable especially from a black guy before success came. Maybe you could emphasized how he wrote on anything (in the land of paradise) including napkins when a journal not readily available, just so that he can get out what is in his head at that precise moment for future reference. Or better still you could write about the devastating decline of a brilliant young man or a lady who suddenly became apathetic, distant, and unpredictable and no one could figure out why. Maybe you could write about anxiety and of multiple present uncertainty and how you or someone that you know overcome it and regained control of their lives happiness by getting help from family or experts, but all that you needed was for someone to reassure you. Demonstrating kindness and thoughtful gestures and even to offer physical affection or touch, if appropriate that “It Will Be Alright” trust in the Lord. In our current situation you are actually bearing witness to a turning point in not only America but in world history concerning a modern 2020 pandemic, that in May and still counting a milestone with over 100,000 deaths was reached in the short time of just four months with no current vaccine available.

Yes, you can say that you are aware of past pandemics history such as smallpox and tuberculosis, HIV/AIDS, and even Black Death that killed over a million people but that the U.S. deaths tolls could have been way lower if our political leaders had acted more quickly. Yes, for sure you could write that the outbreak of this current virus disease prevent me from presenting this beautiful engagement diamond ring, to the extremely talented and beautiful Valentine’s Day lady that I had hoped to marry and that makes me mad as hell. Yes indeed, a beautiful tale of love that is so riveting as the middle-age gentleman walked into the make-up section of a department store. The cute sexy and well dressed sales lady approached him assuming that he was buying something special for his significant other. “Miss,” said the gentleman to the beautiful Indian sales lady. “I have traveled by day and by nightfall over many mountains so high and many oceans so wide from where I came by way of this bright guiding star, a voyage in search of you to be my only significant other. Will you accept me”? Without the slightest hesitation she said “Yes yes, I’ll,” said the cute young beautiful Indian lady and they lived happily ever after. Maybe you can write about the nursing home where your mom or dad, or sister or brother bid farewell from this earthly life without you even able to be near. Great suffering in this most unprecedented early start year of 2020 where lies ruled, distrust, and biases with lack of empathy. Maybe your story could be about the young man or woman who had it all, rags to riches, riches to rags etc.

He had A great wife, a great family all financially independent with or in excellent health. A great caring son or daughter, a great husband or boyfriend/girlfriend, or a lousy wife or girlfriend, a great best friend out of a multitude, nice hair, nice cancer free body, money in the bank, a great education, an awesome job with awesome coworkers. Great returns an a retirement plan or great fiscal year earnings from stocks. A few prime acres of land to build a house for God’s worshiping, a nice big comfortable house with all of the necessary luxury trimmings with more than one cars or whatever would do. Maybe you could tell a story about your generation or moral obligation, patriotism, respect for authority. Young men, young women of the millennial era, gen’ Z, gen’ X, baby boomers, (May 30th, amid a pandemic outbreak that claimed the lives of over 100,000, amid the death of a black man George Floyd: at the hands of police officers in Minneapolis that sets off riots and destruction in many U.S. states where National Guard is mobilized. Amid all that, history is being made on this Saturday afternoon as a SpaceX rocket for the first time in 9 or 10 years successfully launched two astronauts from U.S. soil into space on their way to the ISS)., old men, old women in a multitude of generations that died off from aging and wars. Yes, tell your story since everyone do have an amazing inspirational story of some sorts to tell. It could be about how they had it all and lost it all that cannot be briefly or clearly expressed in a few short concise sentence especially when trying to explain the reason why she will not be receiving any gifts for this or maybe the next Valentine’s Day. But you’re my close friend you said so who knows about what’s happening in my loveless life, since we send more nudes to each other than to potential suitors knowing that we are so far-away, but a picture is worth a thousand words that keep reminding me that you’re a jewel in my life and to be truthful it is mighty difficult thinking that I am living far from happily without you, and so if I could have this moment for ourselves I would marry you so that we can be as one to cherish beyond forty eight hours.

You are always there for me, supporting me, showing empathy when I hide my tears and hurting feelings with a ending of a romantic broken heart relationship. You’re always encouraging me even though I heard the dialogue between the affectionate pair was sufficiently succinct. And expressive that she is waiting for a Valentine’s gift from me, a silver wand and a heart. So I may have to change my mind hoping that she will give me her hands that holds me there, as I vehemently denied any suggestions of improper conduct and fetched for her the very best that money can buys, Hmm. Yes, tell your story. Get it going out of your journal and set the world on fire (figuratively) with your dreams and use the flame to light a candle for love. Tell your story, since you may have been cooped up likewise as many friends and close love or family but you’re Ok, emotionally, mentally, and physically. Tell of how you tried to engaged in levels of activity, how you reached-out and shared positive things. Write in your story about what’s keeping you cheerful and busy, maybe baking or trying things like yoga, new techniques since you might be inspired to try something new just because others may love it. In life we do go through dark moments but there’s good people in the world despite, so whether you’re a black African-American, a white, a Jewish, a Chinese, a person of any other cultures or race. You’d have an amazing story to tell, whether you’re a person who are getting involved in your local community on levels such as artistic, educational, enlightening, enriching, edifying or intellectual.

Whether you’re considering campaigning to bring about political or religious or social changes to general attitudes or the beliefs of a narrative ethnocentrism society. To me it just wouldn’t feel like Valentine’s Day if my Cupid’s arrow is wasteful or if there were no Shakespeare’s poem for her to entertain her with romancing enjoyment among other great things an the (I’ll even spruce up my home and let her know that I’ll even do the little things while she’s going through her monthly periods) agenda amore to show her my undivided attention and of how much she means to me. Yes indeed, and Shakespeare’s reputation is quite befitting from the ultimate ‘sonnet’s’ the ability to capture the essence of so cleanly the love and succinctly the moment, so here’s one of my favorite. “Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day? Thou art more lovely and more temperate: Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May, And summer’s lease hath all too short a day: But thy eternal summer shall not fade.” The good news is that the flogging of Valentine’s Day is a thing of the past of which millennials have no interest or time for such an old tradition including religion, including couch love, pizza yes, mobile this mobile that yes, ‘digital eclectic’ yes so cool, old age sucks. Where the sentiment of horror remains with heavily rooted commercialization while hiding its dark history (and what is the history of Valentine later known as Saint Valentine, it is said that Claudius ordered the death of Valentine because he continued to perform marriages for young lovers in secret thereby disobeying a decree from the Roman Emperor) that commemorates the anniversary of Valentine’s death or burial around A.D. 270, What, “are you sure about that”? So asked my friend.

Yes, the only reason why it is celebrated today in my opinion is to “Christianize” the pagan celebration. Well imagine back in around the A.D. era, the poor guy was in his early 20s making up or trying to send off a Valentine’s Day Hallmark card (on Feb’ 14 the Anglican Feast) to his sweetheart. Now we (some) just send a few hurriedly insincere words not saying a whole lot in a hastily text message, the sensitiveness to emotional feelings are so not refined. Sorry babe, couldn’t afford any gifts or flowers or diamonds bracelet for you, What? You cheap meanness mother f**k. Well at least take her to the movies to see a silent black & white romantic movie, What? Yes, that will either let she unload a backhand slap upside your head or she’ll laugh out loudly, or at least let her cry her eyes out if they hadn’t been in a meeting she would have let out a squee of delight if boy gets girl, Aha. Her data and more data on the virtuousness for love puts me morally good in standing of a positive state of mind to enjoy the simplest of interpersonal affection and I just cannot get enough of it that got me extolling the virtues of her that makes me smile and build rapport. I’m after all is rare and uniquely relevant as so is she and deserving praise despite circumstances. O’ sweet love from a woman, of a Cupid’s joy where thou ought thy head lie my squeeze to aimlessly aim at an arrow to her precious heart who once so willingly obliged? But what’s the big deal, (molding her out of clay, to keep just in case since I’m in need and would be lying otherwise but no other shall ever do, especially when she looks so divinely fabulous in the magical Squeem shape wear, leggings, panties, lingerie, Brazilian sensual bras that eliminates bulkiness while accentuating her natural curves and total beauty.

All were my Valentine’s Day intended gifts to her my main married squeeze had she stayed longer to squeezed my loving penis affectionately,) well the big deal is that there are only two of us single guys left out of a total of five of us guys, three got married: Leon Donald 35, electronics technician. James –”Pip” 32, track team basketball coach. Howard “Bunny” Jr. 45, social science tutor. Leonzo “Duck”, biologist/musician. And last but not least Yours truly Edward John “Skip” 43, specializing in some unusual qualities such as being on an incredible amazing mission and what you are going to do to make that vision happen: (Action). The reason you’ or I is doing what you’re doing is for a theme of love that is worth more than money, passion and purpose: A prize, will she take my heart and my soul since it is sincerely meant for her?

‘O sweet Valentine’s will she be with me by the next Day with enraptured love with more secrets fantasies in her beautiful eyes and flowers in her hair for I the gently conqueror? If I’m not mistaking she can be my everything romantic, everything that my life is missing. The only girl that truly amaze me and if it sounds too lyrical, or maybe too outrageously poetic then I hope that she’ll understand since no one else mattered. And, because of that, one of the Valentine’s Day gifts that I bought for her (which is still unopened and sitting on her dresser table is the sweetly irresistibly out of this world, that goes beyond the borders realms of spirituality, sensuality, mysterious and fascinating like her whole. The gorgeous scent of ‘Alien’ a Thierry Mugler perfume for glow and longevity that brought out the bewitching feminine’s goddess in her that driven me crazy. Will she let me say (WOW) babe, you rock my world in these high quality fitness form-flattering wear that are sexy and superior comfy for her daily activity, comfortable she said so and stylish leggings that I also bought for her while on my business trips? I’m sweetly a romantic fool in love with head over heels for her cause I’d believe that I’m in love with her wholeheartedly and enthusiastically, I’d think so cause she’d has interesting things to say to me that got to the core of my thinking. I want to tell her, I want to whisper in your ears that baby doll you’re the source of my life all along, You’re the air that fills my inner, you’re the water that quenches my daily thirst and so it aren’t any surprises that you’re also my life itself, you’re my friend the very special one since when I woke you’re the first love that I want to see, to hear you breathe, to watch you lazily stretches, to watch you wiped the sleep from your gorgeous eyes while exhibiting a big yawn.

As a matter of fact, you are my favorite reasons to be living in this world where females vampires and wild scorpions are threatening to devour me whole as if I don’t have a girl like you. But baby, you’re the reason why I traveled over mountains this high, over oceans this wide. Babe, you are my Valentine’s socks puppets you said so since your sweetly cute name could only be Elaine the daughter-in-law of Pelleas who compiled various sources about you for my attention in Le Morte d’Arthur and I’m so lucky to have you in my life that I loved so much. You’re my strength, you’re my inspiration and when I do not see you to hold and tenderly embrace after eight hours my world stops, thinking whether Lancelot had kidnaped you. Yes, I’ll not mourn Valentine’s because when God presented me you, He saw that it was a match befitting true caring love so He presented me the love of my dreams and a new glow. Moreover I lied not in saying that she’s more beautiful in so many ways than everybody else, but most of all if she’s in love with me as she said then I will work on the moment to bring her fairy tale to life’s adventure for great memories together should I meet her high standards.

What things would look like if you succeed in ‘Fulfilling the Promise’. Yes indeed, I’m so weird that my head is filled up with classical romantic opera music, roses, soft lights and quality wine by myself or especially on our days off from everything but ourselves to enjoy (Puccini) – Italian; ‘O mio babbino caro’ (so cutely performed ‘Oh my dear papa’ Or “Oh My Beloved Father” the so gorgeous Lauretta begs her father Schicchi to help her marry the love of her life before his passing, but I will not attempt to sing it to her to make up for my lack of Valentine’s Day presents, so I think I will leave the singing to the brilliant sopranos voice of Susanna Hurrell instead. ‘e se L’amassi indarno’, “And if my love were in vain” I’ll set her a sweet smelling that are amazingly pleasant to her nose a bubble bath with an extra touch of lush bomb plus, with fresh clean towels that will help her to take her cozy scent game to the next level in her cozy apartment And let me popped her an after shower chill time to a rather nice glass of Italian champagne. Living the life? Aha! ‘O Valentine’s my Cupid’s cupcake arrow are still aiming at her for that romantic love that is so exceptional and elusive, but I’ll dare greatly knowing that God haven’t abandoned me to make her mine. Even though there are times when I feel that I’ve been left in a puddle of emotions. Left on my own, hang out to find the next option as to where to find her. She is a strong pleasant and talented girl, deeply ‘occupied’ and intensely caught up in what she’s doing, ‘writing and sewing furiously’ when she doesn’t have to. So focused she’s on a mission to accomplishing her ambitions while I’m thinking of ways to help her, have no time for romancing with me while I am distance. I love her, her vibe are cool who are high with excitement and energy, high an fashions trends and since I’m a great fashion enthusiast among other things that fills me with love and enthusiasm for some worthwhile pursuit like an attractive bachelorette woman, mainly because I’m young and a responsible bachelor. Belief, sports, Formula 1 race cars, I find myself ardently attached to someone or something that are loaded with inspiring zeal or fervor.

And why not since there’s nothing that we human love more than a great relationship and fashion. My life is a passion so I love God I love beauty, I love art and grand architecture, I love culture and maybe that is why I would much preferred to be married a Midwest girl, simply the best, intelligent, faithful, beautiful in looks and personality, down to earth, no drama and smart. Yep, I love culture and the cumulative deposit of knowledge, it says much of our material traits of a racial, religious, or social group combined with its characteristic features of everyday existence or a way of life. This everyday existence also got me thinking through the eyes of history about the difference between the Europeans and Africans. The Europeans came to America for many reason. Among the most important were economic opportunity, religious freedom, and adventure. Whereas, most Africans were brought to the New World as enslaved people, it was an extremely difficult time but the European colonies in the Americas prospered whereas the enslaved people did not, and so unto this very day we the children’s of the enslaved are still fighting for our lives and to get a equal share of the prosperity that we worked and died for far so long. I love luxury and I traveled the world in pursuit of the best while ignoring the price tag as if I’m Elan Musk the second, in filling up her closet with the coolest cutest things since you only lived once a lifestyle. As for my chill (a guy who is cool and goes with the flow) time without her, a cocktail on my own doesn’t sound romantic but hey, till she gets home where I can drag my fingers lightly along her arm, in her hair etc, since maybe she has sex on her own or on her mind to hit it hard so a Pepino experience to the next level will do.

I roasted it up with cucumber, tequila, pineapple juice, and liqueur Grand Marnier which is smoothing after-dinner. Bonsoir Mrs Brown, Enjoy, bon appétit’. Yep a Church going babe, but she’s definitely aren’t dumb dulled on chilling time beverage and I’m cool with that because when it comes to her favorite let your hair down chilling time I have a great healthy drink recipe for our close up quality time. She’d enjoy a delicious cocktail so my technique is a pomegranate rosé martini, a mix of vodka, pomegranate and lemon juice, and champagne rosé. ‘O yeah, living the life before ‘I had a dream’ and the unwelcoming of COVID-19 pandemic that ruined my Valentine’s Day romantic proposal to the earth shattering hot Sarah. Aha, timing and the vibe and atmosphere is everything, can I predict with accuracy that she’ll say ‘yes’ “I will be your significant other” is she ready and do I’ve to meet her parents and will they like me.

After all she’s their only daughter and they may prefer that she married a wealthy white or Indian or Jew, or Chinese or other instead of me a poor dreamer black guy. Hmm! I’ll get to understand her and all the things that she enjoy and what makes her tick and so unique even if she feels for some solitude I don’t mind. I feel confident and she has ensured me that she’s the one, that there’s a special place in her heart for me. ‘O Cupid, my arrow are aiming straight at her since I am smitten, I’m speechless and just wants to embrace her for so long and long. The way that she look into my eyes, the way she smiles it makes me feel like that smile is just for me and she’s literally the first person that I need to look at, will she ever be mine and shall I hold my breath and count to ten, even though she has told me a Valentine’s ago of the butterflies enamored in her for her desired of only me. Can I make her happy should she say ‘I Love You’ and I’ll so patiently romance her pleasant delightful numbers to capture the intense flush of a first love to tear-jerking romance that dim the lights Mrs Brown, light the candles and let’s play to the right touches in the right places without telling of joyful faults that will not do her beauty justice. After all, a woman in love is always happy and glows. “What is she like”, asked my friends whom already gotten married. Well she’s cool, no drama like the other one, she has a pleasant personality and have some money in the bank, smiles with her gorgeous eyes and lit up my smart devices whenever we’re away from each other which tells me that she’s interested and wants to include me in her life, which is cool cause it has been a while since anyone had time for me.

Other things that I enjoy doing is reading real history events, studying or writing about which includes Biblical moments, is raw history while being mindful that thus we read history knowing full well that those who study the past can come to understand who we are and how far we’ve come and are sometimes able to caution us about our present course toward the future. But we also realize that historians have never been any better at telling the future than politicians, economists, or fortune tellers. We learned from the past that is composed of many pasts that in present circumstances or situations allow us to explain how our present experiment in democracy has gone on for more than 200 years and that is important in itself.

The past tells of a great epic and incredible unique tale of how hundreds of millions of people came to live on this vast continent, while the original inhabitants lost their lands and their lives. Naturally, if we should tell the story of for instance America, then we would quickly realize that America wouldn’t be America without the enslaved and thus it may read as a grand lesson that permits us to understand how the pasts affects the present. We’ve come a long way but racism still remains here and in many other countries. It was only a few weeks ago May/June 2020 that America and for good measure the world was thrown into turmoil over police brutality by the instant marching and protesting for justice when a disturbing bystander cellphones video of law enforcement officers in Minneapolis carried out a modern day lynching of a black man (George Flody) by pinning him to the ground with their knees choking him to death. Even while the young man pleaded without resistance that he cannot “I can’t breathe”. I also love studying human, plants, and animals behavior which is associated with overall characteristic. What makes me unique, did you asked? Well that is a tough one but I think it is my individuality that distinguishes me from others that’s also closely intertwined with a touch of “extrovert” outgoing and a tiny amount of the shy “introvert” towards recharging after socializing time. Each dawn I greeted The Holy Father and my mysterious self as a person with the highest standing of an incredible intellect, great character, fully experienced within for what is needed and wise. I’ve much and it may sound like boasting but I’d has a heart of gold (but will also fight if push comes to shove) to share with the love (even though friends keeps on saying “man you’re looking for love in all the wrong places”) of my dreams who also loves nature, my friends, and family that makes me laugh.

It’s the simple things in life that I enjoy like writing about the love that was never there or spending quality time with the woman who are in love with me. I woke up and get my daily weights training exercise going to improve my overall health and well-being strength and sexual appeal, knowing full well that I’m not the dashing 20-year-old stud that once looked upon as a earthly god. I do my job and my chores, chat with, emails or text with friends or family. I don’t have much, not even a woman to embrace me or (with the exception of my gorgeously dear mother) to cares for or about me. Sure there are one or there was one or two with sweet pretense, nevertheless I’ll bite my lips and say that I’m content with what I’ve worked so hard and long for and will always tries to make things better for others who may just need to here from someone that “it will be alright, trust in the Lord” which not necessarily means that I am not ambitious for the things that I’m striving for. A good friend of mine the other day was crying, tell me what’s wrong I said to her.

“Oh I don’t know, I really don’t but I’m hurting,” she said. But why, I asked her. “I’d have days where I seem to cope and manage and think we are getting somewhere in our marriage. I tried so hard to please my husband, but I honestly gets fed up and feel hopeless, thinking I’m kidding myself here,” so what are you saying. I asked her. “Well the marriage is on the rocks, it has been on the rocks for some time now. I think that I know what to do but then he sweeten me up for a day or two then back to his, as if I am not here ways of ignoring me. He is just not the man I married, the man I married wouldn’t have had an affair and coming home late with outlandish excuses,” she said as I gave her my shoulder to leaned on. Some men just doesn’t appreciate a good woman, and my friend is a darned good woman. Overall I lived or try’s to lived a simple traits of a life, in other words I’m a simple man. I humble myself in acknowledgment and give gratitude to the Lord who showed endless generosity even more so for life’s living, I don’t have much and yet I’d have a lot which is life itself. Material things meant nothing to me but it is nice to have or would be nice to have a luxurious house and a cool yacht. To have a nice car or SUV, to have a few dollars in the bank, to have nice clothes but they’re all material things that can be gone in a flash. I tried to stay on a healthy diet with energy foods, antioxidants that supply me with the necessary vitamin C and E, as well as A and the B biotin. Especially when knowing that I’m not the twenty-something guy anymore for my daily balance and of course keeping my skin that, I’m so in love with for a healthy glow and sexy of course.

‘O sweet Valentine’s, she hadn’t holla at me so I guess that she aren’t interested since her lesbian friend keeps her tight and now I’m searching for courage to help my wounded heart heal (that sometimes makes me feel like hollering: ‘The Lord is my shepherd: I shall not want’) and to fight for my dignity and survival, and yet I’m kidding myself sometimes that I’m not hurting for a wife or a girlfriend love and midnight embraced. Think whatever you’re thinking and pity me not but compassion is acceptable because I’ll survive but It’s a horrible reality that I came face to face with alone (the sad part is that some women are intriguing but also can be complicated, which is often said that the ‘mysteries’ of their heart are as deep and unfathomable to understand as the depths of an oceans, she won’t have a conversation with me about it. Cause when I said babe I’m lonely for a woman, “likewise” she said, so what the f**k must I do?) all the other young or older guys are lucky to have their sexy well dressed well mannered and extraordinarily uncomplicated wives or girlfriends, they tell me. So where’s my undemanding Valentine’s sweethearts? Come let us get to know each other and intimately bond (cause ‘sugar is sweet but not as sweet as you’ ‘roses are red’ violets are blue but none are as pretty and earthly sexy like you) before our exotic honeymoon of unusual harmony for a romantic hand-holding breakfasts together and let me spend extravagantly on you with less concern about the cost of anything.

‘O Valentine’s, you saw me sitting here before maybe a few years or months ago wandering aimlessly and wondering with admiration in wonderland misty dawn of delicate beauty and magical charm, whether she too are sitting somewhere watching the sunrise to bring hope of a love so deserves, or the epitome beauty of sunsets we did so once enjoyed. You saw me thinking about love since she indeed did once looked the epitome of elegance and awesomely good taste, whether she now found me to be undesirable since I cannot get it off or out of my mind. Yes, that profoundly tender love that so now eludes me, that passionate affection I now cannot find. Is there none available apart from that other for me a bosom breast my head so tenderly rest against? Did I being so busy making money in the upscale quarters and forgetting her birthday of which she found to be annoying and it hurts, did I forgot to leave her in stitches but had plan a day just for the two of us on an exotic Dominica island that is so cool and. Unique with miles of clean clear water and soft white sandy private beach, that is beautiful and mysterious like her that a friend owned to be laced with quality awesomeness, Did I? And yet Oscar Wilde reminds me that: “When one is in love, one always begins by deceiving oneself, and one always ends by deceiving others. That is what the world calls a romance.” ‘O, you innocent victims of Cupid, haven’t I told you before: To let a fool kiss you is stupid, To let a kiss fool you is worse, and yet It takes only a minute to get a crush on someone, an hour to like someone, and an eternal day to love someone, but it takes an incredible lifetime to forget someone and for that reasoning -William Shakespeare said: “The courses of true love never did run smooth.”

But ‘O Let me tell her that I has gotten addicted (in some ways it’s like having this addiction to my smartphone, the bright colors, the screen and the beep, I even taken it to bed with me, which is no coincidence although I’m not speaking of a specific occurrence) to her bright-eyed and love her and no one else. Yes indeed no one else and definitely I’ve no intention in having a discrete affair with the other one who insisted that I ride her vagina so claiming is the healthiest best, and purest of them all that can clamp down on my penis much more firmly and sweeter than any other, now your turn. I had a friend who tell me the other day that: “She had always assumed that if she lost her husband to another woman, that woman would have to be younger than her, better looking than her, and have more to offer than her.” But surely she must had make him an offer that he cannot refused, since there is no one or place that he would rather be than with her if he truly loves her.

After all, she has beauty, intelligence, sexuality, success in her career, all the things that we men finds attractive in a woman. ‘O Valentine’s, I’ve let go my Cupid’s arrow so now Let me buys her a uniquely romantic and valuable gift of my heart, come and let the sweet music play, let the passionate moment overwhelm us, let a hundred flowers bloom like her eyes for I had scented a gentle breeze of beauty from her warm tender bosom breast so stirring the leaves while we walk hand in hand in such beautiful motions that stirred her heart and passion feelings deep inside her. And let me apply a luxurious moisturizer like “Miracle Cream” all over you that will give both of us such ‘awe’ goosebumps at such a magnificent beautiful sight of tempting sexual arousal (while vowing not to hammered on it since such action of lovemaking may disgustingly turned her off. She may not enjoy the tortuous positioning, the pogo-stick variety etc) to the vastness of her forest as I keep you fresh, beautiful, young and wrinkles free for many years of great beauty. Yes indeed, I could’ve sworn that my Cupid’s arrow had struck since she leave me marveling so likened to looking up at millions of stars in the night sky. But I’ll be ever so gentle towards the center of her sexual satisfaction and wait on her to have the ultimate orgasm. Yes, as I grow older I find that I’m in love with honesty because it means so much to many and especially in a love relationship, it gives me the power to compliment others that so deserved, I tried to be polite and kind even generous when necessary to everyone and will go the extra mile for honest love with an open mind to be empathic.

Yes, I don’t have much and aren’t greedy for much, it wouldn’t be a far -fetch analogy to imagine that I were her first love, the love of her life and need, better still imagined that I was a carpenter who can do a good job and work quickly. I’m optimistic (to the point of being a believer in philosophical optimism) about most things that good things will happen, that life in all its glory is worth living even while waiting for that special someone loved in the future for her love, at least I tried to be. I’d have an air of confidence and able to achieve efficiently whatever I so has to do, however since I’m a man of His image creation I’m not completely complete without a woman. I think that a man should have a competent woman in his life since God had realized that on creation. So where is my sweet Valentine’s sweetheart who looks enthusiastic and capable of loving someone like me as likewise? I’m committed and determined in having the ability, fitness, or quality necessary to do or to achieve a specified thing that if I don’t succeed at whatever today then I will try again tomorrow, simply because I know that I’m capable and can do it or get it accomplished.

I think or feel that I’m not that 100% lucky like some guys or a couple of my male friends in getting women who just fallen for them (which makes me feel like something awful is wrong with me,) or just a special woman to fall in love with me like some of my earlier buddies, even though I’d have more women friends than they’d, only thing is that I cannot marry them or that one. I’m also drawn to the tales of two races (centuries of racism, injustice and oppression and the prolonged broader divide in America and other parts of the world and how we succeeded to avoid talking collectively about racism and education) such as one being Black or brown and the other is White and for that I asked the question as to why it took so long to Nationally acknowledge the historical events behind ‘Juneteenth’ of commentating on the liberation of slaves to those who had no previous knowledge of such? For sure I’m drawn to others who are thoughtful, insightful, empathetic, creative, calming and peaceful. All the above fitted nicely into the excellent foundation of a good relationship or the foundation of a nation and her people, after all, you may win a war but not the hearts and souls of a great friendship. I think whether it is about love, loneliness, the disabled, young or the old, God, or the devil, our place in the endless universe, our political views, our religious faith or beliefs, or about our environment. Whether it is the question as to why some thrive as others suffer, or a tale of two hearts pondering over to get married or not to get married, or even a simple thing in a question of what clothes to wear for the occasion and so much more. At the end of all reasoning It all comes down to respecting and humbling oneself with our opinions and gratitude to our Heavenly Father Spirit for our daily bread to share with others.

I also tried to talk positiveness one day at a time and perseverance which is helpful at all times (but even more so in these uncertain times on all fronts) and great for overall health and well-being that boost extraordinary people happiness away from the usual herds. I retained some kind of studious mentality towards psychological principle with fictional history which is on my-to-do list of emotions, to write an iconic space poem or opera (kidding on that but hey) classic of romantic tale and to think. Thinking is good, it can tell you to work hard towards fulfilling your dreams of getting to the top of the mountain should you happen to be a Capricorn.

And why not, she is elegant and charming without pretense, must be a Sagittarius girl, a delight and are more quaint in appearance that so leave me with vivid mental images of her that boost my ego. She will not fake it. After all I think love in pleasing her, and she in turns can tell me: “I’m the best she have had or could have,” I am thinking of romancing her somewhere pleasant and desiring on the hills among the soaring cliffs around the northwest of Loule, ‘is the awesomely majestic Algarve’s with its most picturesque village, golden beaches, lively nightlife plus on a clear night the heavenly stars came out and you can wish on a certain star that shines so magnificently extra bright just for her. She’ll enjoy the landscapes, streams, and waterfalls that is so interesting of a romantic place to take her for our honeymoon should she chance me, or just to let her know that I cherish her wholeheartedly, it is beautiful, it is pretty like her, I’m enthralled since any man of common right feeling will love and cherish her who his own. Certainly A precious gift from God she so is, I so tenderly hold, my head she so tenderly place on her gorgeous bosoms breasts chest to my delight. Yes, Valentine’s my Cupid’s love is just around the corner, but will she recognize me? Will she allow me to tell her that I only exist so that I can truly appreciate what it is to be in love with a lady like her? She is the jewel of my passion so much so that I cannot stop from sending her handwritten love letters when we are not together, while hoping that she will not get fed up, will I say the right things that touched her heart with my undivided sincerity? She’s the joy of my heart, such radiance, but is there such a girl to love me?

Is there such a lonely girl who had tried one or them all but until now are just finding the best of them all? I liked her so very much and likewise she said so, she is so cute a sweetie pie of the highest quality and down to earth and already tell me not to concerned myself about: “Gifting her expensive gifts or even to take her out for expensive dinners,” nevertheless I will make her feel super special at all times even if her nice hair is a little messy, by saying a few lines of romantic words to steal her heart before anyone else. I love you. Of course I realize that I’ll make it a point of duty to every day do the little things for and with her and to never abuse her, to shower her with deep affection and admiration. To let her know that she is well dressed, well thought of and that days may have passed and still passes, and weeks have rolled by, but darling you’ve never leave my heart.

‘O Valentine’s I did not get to tell her all the beautiful things that I wanted to, I did not get to tell her or to whisper in her ear that would probably tickle her and let she giggle in that mysterious ways of hers, that as long as there is me, baby your heart will be of the best it can be. Because I’ll keep your heart forever unbridled or unbroken is a promise I’m willing to keep beyond this tale of lust and passion. I love you even though I’d not know your name or where from you or which ocean so sailed on the day before today, but when I’d I’ll continue to learn more and more about you. ‘O Cupid, have I said enough, do you think she fully comprehend, have I said anything that will move her closer to me, anything that will guaranteed to make her day just that little more meaningful? The empty walls once where her gorgeous framed picture hung are now nothing more than a discoloration of a blank spot, no opening of pressies, no lipstick on my collar. I’m a total wreck for a love that blinded me for connection with just one wink that wasn’t conveyed as a misinterpreted message she said so. Reduce indeed to ruin for what once thought would stand the test of time. ‘O Valentine’s, will my Cupid’s arrow hit that secret spot for only her, or will I be thrown in the lions’ Den at my own peril, thrown to the ferocious hungry beasts of the porn girl’s who is still waiting up all night for my jackhammer penetrations without rubber, when that is not the life that I’m looking for?

No, no no hell no not her. I think that most single guys, that is someone who is not involved in any type of serious romantic relationship, including long-term dating, engagement, marriage etc, who love (I said most because some men do rather to have a male partner as their sexual lover than a woman as likewise some women too who wants nothing to do with a man. Weird as that may sound but that is the way that the cookie crumbles these happy days, What?), women are that special soulmate will tell you that their homes doesn’t feel like a complete home without his girlfriend or his lady, or his wife as his only squeezed, and for that reason I’m no exception while still juggling to find Mrs Right who may also I would assume scared of giving up her independence for a new relationship that may folds up in 348 days. It is hard and scary but I just need her. My bachelor pad is quite cozy, it smells nice without sweaty panties and cats piss and of course I tried to keep it spotless from roaches piss and lizards droppings and my dirty underwear which I must say is f**kin hard work.

But it is lonely for her, so hey I’m aware that my cozy bachelor pad could be even more cozier with her womanly scent, what says she? I know that she is out there somewhere and (the fact is that I shouldn’t have been in this predicament, but hey. So the question is what nationality or ethnicity will I decide on, will she be English, Japanese, Mediterranean, African American, Indian, one from the Mother Continent of Africa, Spanish, French, or White. Preferably a black lady but to be truthful I’m not fussy as long as she has class and sexual appeal, beauty, college degree, hard worker, pleasant personality, ambitious, tells the truth and faithful in the presence of Heavenly Father, and of course that we can get along) she is of sound mind ready to match my predicament perplexity, but is it a process or a preordained or a self made fulfillment? It seems like a question that has plagued lovers seekers since the dawn of man and woman relationship, for sure she the mysterious one who are under the notion that she’ll come to me like a goddess storm to wash my fears away may even be reading this tale of twists and turns. But I’m also thinking that she may be having a blur vision cause it seems to her that although she are thinking of a relationship, she feels that all the good guys so considered are married, engaged or just not one to move her. A scenario or predicament that I fall under. Meaning that I know without boasting biased that I’m unique for a woman’s love, especially the one who can feel the natural inner power of beauty and concentration while meditating of which I thoroughly enjoyed, but I’m also picky (which scares me that I may never find such one) about appearance.

Countenance, demeanor, the way she dressed in etiquette dress length style for the occasion, such as for daytime church wedding or a cocktail dinner date etc, and of course her overall posed figure and especially as indicative of quality. An amazing amount of distinctive taste and style that’s within itself is mysterious and private but remains an essential part of her aura grace. My mantra (man) best is adapted to the instrument of the mind (tra) and her value as to what suites my intention that my penis is too precious to penetrate any and any vagina. I simply will not risk it. There, I said it if since she stubbornly know it, then she will certainly feel and understand it so strongly which is connected to have psychological and spiritual powers that can also help us to set a healthy course of feeling fulfilled and fabulous. I’ve for some unknown reasons found myself having a very particular dating preferences, and wondered what would happen if I’m hopeful in attracting a girl with a reputation whom are also of the picky kind. In that case I guess that I would need to find out what she wants in a partner, and then I should be able to align myself with her desires. She may well be a lady that matches my or use the mystical formula of ‘mantra’ to mindfully focus our thoughts, our feelings, and our highest intention for love and traditions or prayers. But of course she have to matchup like a senorita, what does that mean?

It’s a well known fact that a woman who’s interested in a guy usually has two options of letting him know since she’ll be asking serious questions to find out whether the guy takes her seriously or not, (remembering that most guys are just after a fuck, a sexual encounter, a good time on the low. But then most respected woman can figures that out from the get-go. A huge difference from someone say like me for instance who needs more than that, such as a girlfriend to be a wife later on) then next there’s a common tactic a girl would deploy which is a (apart from the play hard to get) strategically approach since she’s seeking a clear understanding of her own desired purpose. Hey, no freebies here not even when falling in love for the first or second time. Well even though I’m brave, loaded with self-essentiality, courage, and the realization of my core ‘essence’ to let her say “ooh-la-la-la” under a very romantic “Sapphire Moonlight” with her beautiful eyes glittering like a smallish hummingbird with blue and violet colors. And even though I do know how to chat up a lady or to start a decent intelligent conversation for the possibility of starting a relationship building with her, if she’s available and our interests are entwined like intertwined hearts, I still do have some kind of shyness and for that reason woman-man scenario it would boost my interest or excitement if she sends me a message first, What? No skin off her nose for doing so since before she said anything it would indicate to me that I’m on her mind. Yes indeed, an incredible obvious sign.

Would I every be so lucky? Aha, that would be a super nice way to start a love for life, getting to know all about her that then would indicate to her that I’m interested since I would reply back in a heartbeat. But in any event she has to have some common interest that we have in common, maybe hobbies or other activities that we can learn to share, for instance: I’m some kind of a keep-fit fanatic that loves outdoors activities such as cycling, exercises such as sit-ups, keep-fit or aerobics, dance, weight strength training, stretching, football, and jogging. Maybe she is not into full-body workouts but then if she is cool I’m willing to work with her since we ought to be thinking about the things that brought that extra vigor and flair, that extra joy of laughter in our lives. And for sure you can get that through regular exercises to improve personal fitness and health. Rest assured that I’ll always compliment her whenever she needs that little push to get her motivated on anything including clothing that I honestly feel makes her look fabulous. Even if she should ask “Do you think I’m fat?” My answer of course would be absolutely not fat at all in reassuring her that she’s hot and very athletic, her body weight is where it ought to be on a height frame of 5’8″ and weighed only 139 pounds. And is definitely getting her quality resting time and is on an excellent healthy diet, besides she do have a fantastic shaped that others are envious of, she’d looks stunningly beautiful and sexy no matter what. Then there’s goals and priorities, will she consider having a family and can we plan for that, career, is she planning to pursue one or already in one, good healthy diet is she a person who takes such seriously. What kind of love will she showers her husband with? It is said to ‘love her husband’ A good description of the kind of love that a woman’s husband needs is as it was written “unconditional acceptance.” Does she prayed for him? In other words, accept your husband just as he is and in some fairness many women or wives do just that, even while having the awkward awareness of an imperfect person.

And that is why forming a relationship before the dignified solemn vows of promises to love and honor, an oath to keep faith is so important for long-term happiness to the future queen or knight of your heart. ‘O my Valentine’s, my Cupid’s arrow are still aiming for the right one since all of the others seems to be currently living in a ‘pornified culture’ of which I’ve no lustful or sexual appetites for. Now, On the guys side of life in trying to figure out and some even asked the question as to “What kind of wife will I ended up with?” A godly one who seeks to be modest in her dress code ethics, or a young hottie who dressed like a prostitute with crafty intent? After all, for one thing the guy needs to see some signs that she’s the type of woman that is worthy of marrying. That she’s disciplined and well structured to ensure smooth happiness in the relationship because to the sincere guy she should be a lot more than just beauty and sexiness. And so to a lot of us guys, a woman of his choice or dreams needs to show that she’d be a good partner for life, for the moment when the going’s gets rough and tough, how does she handle pressure, how she makes the right or near to right decisions, financially, motherly or other situations. All need to be considered before marrying her and likewise. When it comes to a love relationships many of us do make poor decisions on the fly in an instant moment then paid the price later, whereas had we hold back for a while to make sure he or she will be a great partner.

In my case I were so desperate for a woman’s love partnership that I just jumped into the pool of need and got trapped since being so young while neither I or her was prepared for the practicality that would supply us with the means, knowledge, or opportunity for a long lasting relationship. In other words, when building a foundation of trust and love it is wise to be on the same page. After all, love is all about being communicative, understanding, empathy, and to be focused on the “nuts and bolts” of what it means to fall in love with someone who are new in ones life for that all important interpersonal connection, even if it lacks the excitement and intensity on a temporarily basis that makes love so powerful. The fact is that I’ve never and more likely will never loved any other like her as I joyful but also painfully are learning and gotten more and more interested in her and so, we must embody both our qualities for true lasting love and affection from a man to a woman to flourish and to have the kind of conscious, dynamic relationships that cultivate us as human beings. ‘O you sweet Valentine’s, a practical love letter I will send to her about how boy meet girl and my undying love and feelings remain in the Eros sexual and passionate court of love, a romantic love likened to no other. Her voice I’m longing to hear not once but many beyond once, a friendship like beautiful roses which has blossomed into this love, a laughter, a touch, a myriad of things to shared, a kiss now that the hairless sperm whale has mercilessly swallows me whole and spits out my tasteless body to survive for a love from her I asked no more. A dove feather she so sent in my dreams I received that my Cupid’s arrow so bow to me a poem from her heart, I’m ready. For sure even though the Bible said of a wife in my opinion aren’t not as it is today in our modern Valentine’s era. “A wife to be self-controlled, pure, unadulterated, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled,” of which I would say ‘good luck’ on that.

‘O Secrecy Secrets of a lover, (in bygone days for instance: homosexuality was an hushed hushed affair, a son or daughter or even a good friend would remain in the closet for fear of his or hers sexual orientation. Revealing such preferences could mean termination from a job and even the loss of a friend or being outcast by family, one would be considered brave or crazy for sharing it so openly with the world audience. The same instances could apply to a cheating spouse), a so called cloak and dagger we all have it hidden somewhere in some forms or another, told only to the dearest friend and confidant trusting he or she not to repeat it to others. Maybe it is one that makes us feel bad about what we have been up to which usually it is accompanied with some kind of fear or guilt since it is revealing or could reveal what we’ve done may result in the loss of a spouse’s love, will she tell me hers, Will she? I on the other hand have been living a clean sinless lifestyle with maybe just a tiny amount of secrets, hmm. Am I that innocent? I should’ve been a genuine gentleman Saint. Lord have mercy on me so that I can complete this beautiful love story. Secrets preferences, maybe desires, issues surrounding relationships and sex, how about the absolute cheating, infidelity, greed, and then there’s the violations of others’ trust and even betrayal and should we talk about such without the feelings of withdrawal ”Oh Boy” I got to get outta here?

So yes, I need to find out what she wants in her relationship from her partner, in today’s world a woman wants to feel safe and secure with her man at the helm, she wants real meaningful conversation, she wants to be understood, and for sure she do not want to be cheated on and above all she needs to feel that her partner are fully vested in the relationship. She wants the truth (a little white lie now and again she can handle for a laugh “did you do the dishes honey”?), and transparency’s, this not only refers to her physical self. But also her emotional well-being. She wants no parts of her to be attacked which includes her body, views, self-belief, identity, confidence or morals choices. Now on the man side of this amazing courtship before wedding vows The man also wants to know How does she get along with her family and will he get along with them without embarrassment. Then when it comes to savings account, can we save money? My favorite grandmother always liked to tell me “Boy you better save some money for a rainy day, cause a woman won’t want you if you don’t have money,” she said.

But hey money aren’t everything? But I got her drift. Naturally, both on my side and hers of this most important reasoning, considerations has to be taken, since there are many factors to consider, like age, health, personality, looks, financial strength or stability without disruption or at the very minimum of disruption, and spiritual understanding. After all, she may be a young woman whom for whatever reason makes her commitment to serve the Lord, whereas he may need time to adjust to a faith that he aren’t ready for. But he’s in love with her because that’s the kind of lady friend that he may or may not had been searching for to enter into his life. A friend once said to me that: “You can search throughout the entire universe for someone who is more deserving of your love and when you’d find such a lady you’ll recognize her right away because she will also recognize you.” I just want to have a break out one time with my passion and to have a ton of fun. The late Mother Teresa put it this way, “Let us always meet each other with a smile, for the smile is the beginning of love.” And yet I just do not understand why some men think that they can live a more fuller happier sexual life without a woman. Personally I just want to be successful in many of my ambitious agenda so I aimed always to ‘maintain a positive mental attitude’ but most of all to have a successful in a love relationship and to immerse myself in a love net and to be passionate about my passion to share with her the one. After all, it is said that: “Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own.” Whenever my girlfriend (just friends) of a friend stop by with a plate of home cooked delicious meal they tend to feel comfortable and want to know how come that I’m living in a big house by myself, they’d not want to leave. “Attractive,” she said.

Man stop playing with me. Does she wants me or not? Of course I want to love her for more than merely just the insertion of the penis into vagina to encounter because she seemed to be an incredibly attractive intelligent woman, a kind of soul mate she wants to be. She aren’t that old, she aren’t rusty and dented, at least not yet, or of the last time that I seen her. She’s always elegant and brave and desirable to match my bachelor eligibility status for a partner in marriage. However, the empty space here on the couch is driving me crazy, her scent is missing, the drawer once packed with her panties/thongs and luxurious lingerie and bras is almost empty, her favorite dinner plate and her chair where she once sat in to express our gratitude, our passion that drives us towards our goals while listening but ignoring the concrete jungle with rushing noises from those around us who meant us harm.

Our thoughts or feelings be it interpersonal or internal conflict is starring back at me as if to asked: “Did you murdered her,” No for real I done did no such thing. I’m by birth a very efficient, hardworking & intelligent person but I am deeply concerned now that my age years will not allowed me more healthy and comforting years to fully accomplish what I envisage for my future with someone or alone. I had loved that one when I was 20-something or 30 plus, I was broke chasing a career and even though I’d tried to save money or to do the investing thing for emergencies, I had absolutely no spare funds available to me in any reasonable amount. I was downright afraid then some 30 years ago as I’m now even while working two jobs with tons of hard earned overtime hours, (so tired that on my way home from graveyard shift I would fall off to sleep in my car while waiting at the traffic lights to change) and trying to operate my own business without any encouragement or help. I tried not to panic over so many situations sensing that the burden is so heavy on my own, got knocked down and got right back up smiling as if nothing happened, I literally felt tearful coming from my eyes and I prayed in my office, “Dear Lord” and cried with emotions some more. I was broke, down to my last couple of dollars eating cheap and unhealthy, I brought what I could find in collectors items to the pawnshop, didn’t get much but used it to get food for the kids, sometimes my mother gave us food and a $20 note, she already knew that I’m a proud person who are suffering but don’t wanna show it or to ask so she would find a way in putting the $20 somewhere that would surprise me.

I had to work long hard hours where coworkers would hated me while calling me the N word to provide for my young family and I would go without things just so that the time three young kids could have clothes, good health, a roof over their head and education. It was hard a black man hard, and although I’m somewhat stronger now with material things and financially, the going’s are still hard made even harder in not having a reliable female partner, which got me asking the Lord if this is my destiny. My destination to or for what? Much as I truly trust in the Lord, I’ve to because I owed Him one, He has opened my eyes to experience some revelation of hidden things or spirit that keeps me alive for a purpose, and I’m forever gratified, but man something gotta give. Even while feeling that my best years are ahead to find that elusive one.

So many things needs to be done to secure happiness that is needed right now in so many people’s lives but love needs to be careful of those who are ready with some form of deliberate deception since there’s so many pretentious pretenders and downright people with dishonesty intent in some people young and old, aiming to deprive you of true love. Knowing that you are vulnerable, they don’t love you they love money with the desire to obtain and amassed it the evil thing anyhow, but love can be like walking on slippery rocks knowing that if someone wants to take you for a ride on slippery rocks then one needs to be aware of those whose heart aren’t in the right sincere place for such promises love. Over these hard years on my own I leaned a few things but I also adapted optimism that not all people are bad, that love hasn’t found me but she is there. I adapted positivities and hide my sorrows behind a pleasant smile, but I continue to be hurting for so many things including a woman to genuinely love me and to call me her own. I must not give up not yet, it may happen now or never. ‘O you sweet Valentine’s my Cupid’s arrow is aiming in the wrong direction at the wrong girl while failing to finish the shot with meaningful strength and that aren’t good for a grown-ass man, but I remember that when I graduated from high school my sweet grandma gave me a card in Spanish saying if you’ve to have a girl or wanting to be successful in anything then don’t settle for second best but “Aim high,” she said which meant a lot to to me. But man I’ve gone through the wringer with her an incredible experience I wouldn’t want to have again still even though I said so I wouldn’t be surprised if I repeat such mistakes again.

But things just didn’t work in our long-term favor, but Had I told her two Valentine’s moons ago and although I spent them alone being lonely for her tender bosoms breast’s to so tenderly hold in my loving hands. That I have never loved another or ever again should I passed away before the dawning skies coming into existence? Then let it be so said now. ‘O Cupid, her love is sweetly romantic and sweet like the one never had I have but the divine within me bows to the same divine within her, her healthy body is phenomenal unlike any that I had ever experienced that shaped my consciousness, her real natural shoulder length hair is silky soft like fur and pretty, it smells so very good and clean like Moroccan argan fruit extracts which is known for its moisturizing properties, her lips I can live on 24/7 since I’ve a keen-eyed for observing what message she is sending, especially when knowing that every part of a woman’s body language helps to tell a story. I’m her cupcake, she is my lollipop and she laughed out loudly (telling me that her vagina muscles also have a secret power weapon that can clamp down on my penis, making it impossible for the penis to withdrawn from her impressive vagina, I wanted to place a bet on that claim but she declined the offer) when I told her that I can actually get an approximate idea about the size and shape of her vagina from her eyes and the way that she laugh together with her facial features. She actually bet me 50 bucks that I couldn’t, and I won the bet but I let her keep the money and being that she was so nice I gave her an extra 50 bucks, yep we’re rocking now as her senses lit up like the 4th of July fireworks. Her gesture is purely poetic, when knowing that she’s college educated, smart and works hard for her money. ‘O you sleeping arrow if I could just hold her hands now, if I could just give to her these gorgeous bouquets to prove her that romance is dying for some people because there’s nothing to feel romantic about anymore, that to love and to show love are no longer there with the exception of my undying love.

If I could just hold her hands one more time and to give her these gorgeous bouquets, specially harvested from afar for just her, and take her to the ocean spot where I dropped a teardrop for wanting to tell her that I’ll not stop loving her first thing in the A.M. hours and the last in the P.M., so that we can savor that or whatever is good in our life while keeping the consistency going beyond a nice romantic or once in a blue moon Friday night dinner date. Because that sweet love is a magical thing. ‘O sweet Valentine’s, if only I know her name, if only if only I could whisper in her ear to see and hear her giggle now that I tell her to “Love me in the springtime, when all is green and new. Love me in the summer, when the sky is ‘O so blue, Love me in the autumn, when the leaves are turning brown. Love me in the winter, when the snow is falling down. Love me affectionately after our children are gone and Love me when I get older. Love me a lot, and don’t you stop… Never! Yes, Love me as I’ll to you always, now, tomorrow and forever,” any less will not do, but more than that I’m at a loss for words. I truly want her to feel that she is being loved and respected as she are, not just sexual love because she’s worth more than that, I want to romance her in the best way that a poor later to be rich black guy can, especially when knowing that romance is what makes the love between the two of us so damn amazing. It is what distinguishes me from any previous relationship that she may or may not have experienced before.

For sure what I’m talking about you’ll not find in a bestseller romantic novel of ‘boy meets girl’ because the story, the plot, the mystery, is guaranteed to go all the way instead of fifty shades of a percent, it goes beyond hoeing, it goes beyond what was once the prevailing ‘Enlightenment ideas’ and romanticism and for that I would give up my own life and happiness to save her from any foreseeable danger. To let her know that she means the world to me beyond sexual encounters. My true love is attractive like her and then some. ‘O you Cupid, are you a magician of love so adequately and eloquently foretells of my whirlwind romance with her whose name not yet known to the inquisitive crowds that oftentimes feels like a fairytale since not yet have I embrace her. Tell me now if she is experiencing that ineffable emotional experience of the mind since she’s beyond description to another person of her natural beauty, such brain chemicals of a love magnet to our fantasies to playfulness and imagination. I wonder what is she doing right now, is she having a shower like she so said once, my hand I extended to soap and cream her down, is she reading to find out if I so said anything about her, what is she thinking, pierce her stubborn heart since my love is not just a empty word, because when I found her I became a believer and send her to me ASAP so that we can discover new passion of spanning the universe to find our star at the center of dark matter. In the meantime I realize that the only thing that I can change in life is myself.

I cannot forced someone or anybody to loved me, you know what I mean I cannot forced someone or anybody to come and assist me to the possibility of achievement of something, like to promote or to encourage me in any circumstances or situation, you’re on your own maybe, I can do the things that makes me contented and happy since my happiness could be contagious, I can live ‘one day at a time’ instead of dwelling on the ‘what ifs’ and negativism. Naturally I’m useless without God’s Spirit by my side so the most remarkable thing that I can do as long as I can breaths is to humbly asked God to grant me peace within myself. All other things will fall into place if I so deserve even. While I’m still working through serenity and apprehension and to accept the things I cannot change but are mindful that I haven’t found my dream love as yet, even though she asked “what type of girl would suit me best as per my personality and desire,” well you know.

That visually charming or quaintly one, but are also mindful that the kind of nature’s woman that’s worth pursuing will challenged my sincerity and certainly enjoy a good argument be it about present world racism or political and religious mayhem. After all I wouldn’t expect her to drop everything for me just on the merits that I enter into her life with nothing to offer since love alone will not be sufficient to pay the bills. So here I’m still standing in the world’s bachelor line being envious of my friends, which means that I must be doing something wrong or aren’t trying hard enough, as matter of fact make that now one, and that’s me because Leonzo send me his upcoming wedding to the talented Mildred M. invitation. She is young and extremely beautiful with an athlete body frame and a fat percentage range of about 14-20 which is ideal, graduated from East Carolina University with a BA in English, minor in Creative Writing, BFA in Fine Art, and BA in Art Histories. I could not help but to asked her what is her secret for looking so trimmed and healthy: “Eating nourishing foods, staying hydrated, exercising daily, and caring for my mental and spiritual health all played a critical role in shaping my journey to better health,” she said. Literature is one of her greatest passions which she pursues through analyzing poetry on Poem Analysis. So jealous of you my great bro. She has a job, definitely working up to smash the prejudicial glass ceilings which are out of reach for many professional minorities women, and a good looking SUV with significant assistive features which includes safety of occupants, it has side-curtain airbags and front side-impact airbags, brake assist, as well as tire pressure monitoring. She’s smart and has it all covered. She’s also an activist for women’s rights, working to make the world a better place while campaigning to bring about political and social changes for black and brown people. Her ambition is to own and manage her own business.

Now why can’t I find a woman like that? A girl named Andromeda? Or should I be pursuing a ‘unicorn’ instead, now I really don’t want to be considered as sucking up, or even to be placing her high up on a pedestal on merit that she’s Miss wonderful, Miss beautiful, making more money than I and with her attractiveness (she has her choices of unwanted attention from men each and every day) can refuse any guy interests. ‘O you Valentine’s, it is quite obvious by now that I’ve took some time off from dating and so I’m somewhat rusty on all fronts if she is to show any interest in me, also I’m not one for chasing, never do and don’t have a clue how to do such. Besides only weak guys I would think do such, and yet I wonder if her name is ‘Andromeda’ the executioner or should I say the exceptionally beautiful actress (versatilis) that one could but admire the sparkle with the versatility from a voracious appetite like a hungry galaxy who drew me into her warm tender bosom breast, it so sprouted with desire for tweaking and fine-tuning practice to ultimately enveloping me at different times to be totally consumed then spits out, as if to violently shredded and cannibalized me in whole? Nevertheless, I’d not wish to be spaced sufficiently sparsely from her love. Is she scared of my digital connection? Strange as it is there are some humor about her that prevents me from being jealous or to get into a paranoid and insecurity state since I was told by my grandma, “that beauty is a curse” but she cannot do anything about it, not even to stop the attention bombardment.

Poor girl, Poop not, she is just a woman. So my friend who seems to have all this compiled data was having a whale of a time conversing to me about what she referred to as “three types” of love that are related to relationship satisfaction in short versus long-term relationships. So tell me more about these type of love, I said to her. “Well I know that you are versatile and that you love this kind of romantic stuff because you are always writing about it,” she said to me. “First you must determine if “love” can last, we first have to determine what “love” is,” she said to me which makes perfect sense of course. She continued saying that: “Researchers often think about three types of love: romantic love, passionate love and companionate/friendship love. “Romantic love” is seen as being an intense “desire for union with the beloved” It involves intensity, attraction, engagement, and sexuality. “Passionate love” is often what we think when we think of the idea of “falling in love”. It involves the same intensity and attraction that is seen in romantic love, but there is also an obsessive quality to it, with people reporting difficulties concentrating on things other than their beloved, uncertainty, and mood swings.

Then there is the “companionate or friendship love” which can be defined as “the affection and tenderness we feel for those with whom our live are deeply entwined” This type of “love” is typically less intense than either romantic or passionate love and does not necessarily include sexual desire or attraction.” ‘O you sweetly sweet Cupid my arrow is almost there for This beautiful thing called love is in the air, for her alone I can smelt it. Can you? It is strange cause I’m not a young school kid or a beautiful young man of 20-something anymore and yet this broken heart love will not healed and eased my love for her, her the nameless one. So much so that I’m on a old-school memory’s of the late great Sam Cooke, an African-American singer, songwriter, entrepreneur with the singing styles of blues, R&B, and soul that keeps taking me back to his romantic melodies of days when falling in love with a girl and loving her means something. Listen if you can to: ‘What A Wonderful World’ it sounds so much like me who are still searching and reaching for the things including that true love that she may or may not have for me. “Don’t Know Much About History, Don’t Know Much About Biology, Don’t Know Much About A Science Book, Don’t Know Much About The French I Took, But I Do Know That I Do Love You And I Know That If You Love Me Too, What A Wonderful World This Would Be.” Yes indeed, what’d you know about that? Will you fall in love with me? Don’t lie, since I can see that you’re overly protective of your smart devices, locked your phone and keeping it away from me is saying something of the simple question. Aha!

Over the many moons and decades, millions of authors, scientists, and researchers, have written books and novels about “romantic love” “passionate love” “companionate or friendship love” you named it and your wish is granted because it is out there. Some are excellent quality reading some are not, it however got me wondering if any of these authors actually ever experienced any of these things in real time relationships that they wrote about, and yet readers immersed themselves in the plot telling of such stories that hit a soft spot. HWB: “Young love is a flame; very pretty, often very hot and fierce, but still only light and flickering.” The love of the older and disciplined heart is as coals, deep-burning, unquenchable. Depending on her mood and her outfit for the day, Your smile is so sweet. Is it for me only? Don’t lie. I may not able to make her laugh, but stroking her ego to make her smile is a surety way to make her feel good about herself, since I’m always thinking in a positive way about her. All day in my office, I cannot stop thinking of her, so much so that I had to send her a text message saying: ‘Hey gorgeous, you’re not only healthy on the outside but on the inside, too, won’t you let me be a fountain of gladness to freshen your body and day because your morning kiss, your tender bosoms breast’s, your healthy curves that is so noticeable makes me yearn for her to flaunt them on me. Your beautiful eyes, your thighs, your shapely button and butts, your slim waistline and your whole got me yearning to get home to you’. Hey gorgeous, I saw you today in that dress that stunningly fits your contour so sexily and my heart stopped for an instant only to breathe again in admiration to the sophisticating you. I don’t know what you’ve done to me but one day I want to proposed to you on the notion for you to be my queen mattress.

Naturally, I’m far from being a rich guy king, but I’m working my way towards that then I can spend and spend and more spending and go shopping for all the Valentine’s gifts for you, but in the meantime I love to tips her secretly by putting a few clean freshly minted dollars in her purse that will surprised her. Hey, money and diamonds is a girl best friend. So surprised her cleavage. After all, a woman always loved it when her man surprises her and her smile is the simplest miracle that she can create, it makes you want to say sorry guys I just got to rushed home to my ‘babydoll’ because her smile has been on my mind in the office all day. Her soft impenetrable eyes and inscrutable countenance is what the sunbeam is to the landscape; it embellishes an inferior face and redeems an ugly one. So come now and brighten my Cupid’s day, don’t be looking so sad, at least not today, because today in our western ways of living we celebrate with a kiss and a special gift to her today, or is it tomorrow or some time around February 14, of each and every year is Saint Valentine’s Day marked as a festival to celebrate romantic love, friendship and admiration, at least for some who have or finds new love. I on the other hand haven’t found a new love to celebrate Valentine’s with as yet, (even though many are under the notion that I have secured a uniquely beautiful romantic companion chic that are possessing qualities that gives great pleasures and happiness to see, hear, or to think about when delighting my senses. On the contrary no such one with the exception of Heather Nightingale who informed me she is moving to New York, causing me to express surprise because she had told me once of how she hated big cities) so I and so many more single guys will not be sending love messages of love like babe: ‘every day is a new day to love you afresh and to be loved by you’ and true affection to anyone special. Sure, if I had a girl like her the one that introduced herself to me at the grocery store, or a wife like her I wouldn’t ever be spending Valentine’s Day alone, as a matter of fact I would skipped digital and take the time to send her courtship romantic handwritten (even if we are living together) letters of midnight poetry expressing my undying love and gratitude.

But then I could be wrong since I’m left asking myself a question as to ‘do I’ve a girl or not’ do I have to be sleeping with her and having sex with her for she to be considered my girl, since I’m trying to make up my mind and the miles about my sweet beau, Laetitia the belle-fille French girl ma chérie, What? I want to gently held and embrace her and to whisper tenderly in her ear: ‘darling, I’ve put everything, yes, everything in you… my love, my care, my compliment, my attention, my life. I’m empty, I’m incomplete without you, Won’t you close, close your eyes and imagine me, close your eyes and just feel me, feel me like you want me 24/7 as I’d and let me whisper to you that if I should die today then so remember that I love more than anything else’. For those whose love has ‘stand the test of time’ side by side no matter what comes between them, whether in a struggling relationship, maybe difficulties with intimacy and sexuality, maybe a trauma-related relationship that challenges the foundation of the relationship or the challenges and struggles within their own bodies. For those who stands side by side like lets just say ten, twenty, forty, or even the fifty years of respected marriages or even for a long or longer period of time. But remember, if I was a woman I would trust no man with the exception of yours truly, as I’ve said I really should’ve been a saint to honored God more for who I’m and the way that I conducted myself impeccably and to lived holy lives in obedience to God’s will. Yes I’m aware but still I tried to lived happily with my time and self even when material things are needed and with the people who connected with me, after all, happy people are more successful in multiple life domains. Including marriage, friendship, income, and work performance. Happy people don’t have the time to get sick, but the most amazing part of it all is that the Lord loves happy people especially those that reached out to help others.

But seriously, I have lived without pussy because I wasn’t born with such (a man I am indeed) for a number of years and will continue doing so until the right one comes. Am I hurting for such? Damn, of course I am and being an Aries I cannot helped it of being afraid of being conquered to be used and abused, but this awesome alive and well penis will not go in any and any, you know what I mean? Go ahead and be curious, find out what your perfect lover is up to online if you’re not scared, What? So the other day I asked a close married lady friend what is her darkest fear. She looked at me as if she is struggling to find happiness in her life and said: “My darkest fear?” “I hadn’t given it much thought but come to think of it there are two maybe three. (1) I would place being laughed at, (2) widowhood without a financial planning in place, (3) subconsciously health issues being terrified that I will catch something and die, especially like how this Coronavirus pandemic is killing people, and (4) that my significant other is cheating or lying or sneaking around behind my back,” she said. On that I told her if she have any doubts then there’s an app that she can use to check upon his behavior. She can use the world’s third-most visited social (download app) website that is only outranked by Google and YouTube. After all, there was a time when the social media was dominated by younger people mainly for cheat dating in my opinion, now you’ll find middle-aged Americans are filling the space now vacated by millennials. As I’ve said before that I’m deeply puzzled as to why some men said “they can live without women or a woman” I just don’t see it, but then we got some women or woman who claimed likewise. But for my two cents worth, it is obvious that women needed men or a man to maintain their way of life, whether as a husband or domestic partner, Say What? Personally, I log on to let’s say Facebook for instance like most people every day mainly to post my way of writing about love and broken hearts. I really do not care that much about how many “friends” I amassed on the platform out of a staggering 2.41 billion active users, and for sure even though I keep saying that I am in need of a Valentine’s girlfriend or wife that aren’t the main reasons why I log on, What? Aha!

But then over our modern social technology years it has become so easy to cheat and be cheated on which is up according to data by some 50% or more of all married people in America who do cheat on their spouse sooner or later in the relationship. Hey, don’t take my word for it. There are endless hookup apps to choose from such as Tinder, Linkedin, and others include Facebook (a worldwide giant) by far the most popular social network to such demographics with its 54 or more percent female users, male users is around 46% or less while the 2020 data shows that some 83 percent of women spent their time on the Internet searching for whatever they’re searching for including for a male or female date. Then there are Instagram (download app) where again women according to ‘Pew Study’ (single or otherwise) between the ages of 18 and 24 outnumbered young men. For sure, this cheating act are not only limited to the young 18-20 and above, but the older men also take advantage of this infidelity game too. A curious reality? And yet it may differs from culture to culture. ‘O you sweet Valentine’s my Cupid’s arrow went astray but Shh, lets celebrate quietly because the feast of the patrons Saint are in town and my once love of my life are no more. Aha, it is love fest time here’s my private number cause I’m lonely for her, stuck in this no man’s land where females spiders are feasting on my body as if they’re hungry for a black godlike guy blood, no romantic pass over, no intimacy, no passion, no empathy, no temporary euphoria even when I stood at the walls of Jerusalem a source of inspiration for romance and definitely no romantic gestures, no flowers, and no sweetheart to date by the millions that are observed by young and older folks in many countries. Parks to walk and hold hands, restaurants are packed all because of her, serving romantic dishes include luxe lobster pasta with cream sauce and earthly mushroom risotto, thronged by lovers holding hands exchanging enriched smiles, whispering darling ‘may your cup from henceforth overflow with happiness and prosperity’. “I Love You.”

Expressing love is a must even though my life love is shrouded in this fun mystery, it is romancing of the highest kind for a precious kiss, ‘O Gee that kiss she will certainly like I remember for the rest of her life she said so and I cannot even remember her sweet name, while it got me doing a cartwheeling in a Ferrari while a ferocious thunderstorm brought me back to my senses. But I won’t because I have no one to love me like the way that she once did. LOL! ‘O how I adore her in the month of February as I reassured her that I would never let my love be ambushed by anybody, and for sure not to that bikini one who reckons that I should “let’s start texting dirty and maybe after that we can meet up in person,” What? ‘Oh Sierra, she is so darned short with a fat pussy, but I will never give her what she’s begging for, a breast lift treatment, she stole some of my days and of course this time of the year can be difficult for some to find a new love partner. Just think for a moment about our uniform men and women that are miles away from each other in another country dressing up to fight a war. Just think of me once again sitting here with a couple handsome single buddies getting drunk, entering a euphoric stage of intoxication but not unstable alone without my beau causing me to lose count of how many Valentine’s Days has come and finds me this way.

No ancient or remote love here but we may need check into that time period to compare to the pace of modern millennial life culture on love and our interpretation for this modern Valentine’s Day. But let’s have a darned drink and act foolishly without driving to make our bodies and sex feel like we’re free from the world’s problems on cloud nine, let’s play our music that now sounds much better than when we’re sober. No exclusive flowery parades for her here neither for modern Valentine’s Day love that are subject to a rejected limitations. No structured dance steps, as in traditional ballet dancing with the one who loves you here. No basic purpose or explanation for modern slavery of a Valentine’s Day flowery love here, but we may need to check into that. No, ‘O no we or I don’t need know Valentine’s Day books that control formats of flowery cards neatly put together for a romantic love when I or you are alone that has no ending of human trafficking. No Valentine’s love for me now that a pandemic disease shows up in January 2020 and my once love may well be among the 135,000 lives that are no longer with us. So yes as I come to the end of this epic tale I’m indeed saddened but worry not for new love will come for us all to celebrate 2021 Valentine’s Day.

I now leave you in good hands with the Lord blessings to the world of love and happiness. I saw in Louisiana a live-oak growing, All alone stood it, and the moss hung down from the branches; Without any companion it grew there, uttering joyous leaves of dark green, And its look, rude, unbending, lusty, made me think of myself; But I wonder’d how it could utter joyous leaves, standing alone there, without its friend, its lover near–for I knew I could not; It is not needed to remind me as of my own dear friends, Yet it remains to me a curious token-it makes me think of manly love; For all that, and though the live-oak glistens there in Louisiana, solitary, in a wide flat space, Uttering joyous leaves all its life, without a friend, a lover, near, I know very well I could not. END.